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CHAPTER 1

Con behind the bar reads:

WANTED

THAT CRYSTAL ASHTRAY YOU FILCHED

THE MONOGRAMMED TOWELS YOU TOTED OFF IN YOUR SUITCASE

THOSE SCOTTISH-MADE LINEN NAPKINS YOU POCKETED

IF YOU TOOK ANY OF THESE ITEMS IN THE LAST SEVENTY-FIVE YEARS

WE WOULD LIKE THEM BACK

PLEASE!

Resting esture to the sign

The bartender shrugs "Don’t ask me, I only serve the drinks"

A cute cocktail waitress slinks up beside me and slides her drink order across the bar While she waits she crooks a finger and bends toward e spills out My eyes naturally fall to it, but I quickly force them ahen the bartender’s voice booin or vodka in the martini?" he asks her sternly

"Vodka" But she doesn’t let her gaze wander and crooks her finger atto open a hten and lift an eyebrow "Interesting way to go about filling it"

"They’re even willing to give recognition to anyone who returns the itelass "I’ll keep that in mind"

"I can show you what they’ve collected so far if you’re interested I have tiuage and the seductive tone of her voice tell lance in a closet I ad the offer The devil on my shoulder re lost for a while doesn’t sound so bad But another, stronger, voice declares that the days of needing to get lost in wo at an increasing speed "Maybe another tie, with a o I would have taken her up on her offer, unzipped my pants, lifted her skirt, and fked her fros and bats her eyelashes at me as she puts her drink order on a tray When she leaves she turns and winks, tossing over her shoulder, "I’ll be back Maybe you’ll change yourTerminator? I loosen my bow tie, not able to stand another minute of restraint And once I can breathe, I blink away any second thoughts At the sound of a soft sigh co from the bartender, I lift my eyes toward hi on the cocktail waitress

"She’s never asked e," he mumbles

"Take the lead, man, and ask her"

He seeestion, I turn around and lean against the brass rail to survey the rooend has it that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was founded here, that World War II military men used it as their recreation facility, and that John F Kennedy’s nomination for president happened in this very space The historic Bilts And I can’t believe I’ water and push the glass toward the bartender "Thanks, man"

"Anytiratulations," he says