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"I knew then that you were a far better artist than I could ever be Because you don’t paint things You don’t even paint people"
He saw again Clara’s portrait of the three elderly friends The Three Graces Éhbors in Three Pines How they laughed, and held each other Old, frail, near death
With every reason to be afraid
And yet everyone who looked at Clara’s painting felt what those wo at the Graces Peter had known at thatelse Soht not consciously realize, but feel In their bones, in their le crucifix, or host, or bible Without benefit of clergy, or church Clara’s paintings radiated a subtle, private faith In a single bright dot in an eye In old hands holding old hands For dear life
Clara painted dear life
While the rest of the cynical art world was painting the worst, Clara painted the best
She’d been inalized, mocked, ostracized for it for years By the artistic establishs Very well He even claiood story But he’d never met God so how could he paint Him?
Clara not only met Hiht I’ve always envied you," he said, looking at her directly There was no fear now He was beyond that "From the first moment I saw you I envied you And it’s never left I tried, but it’s always there It’s even groith ti all this to you"
She was silent Not helping But not hurting either He was on his own
"But it’s not your art I’ve envied I thought it was, and that’s why I ignored it Pretended to not understand But I understood perfectly hat you were doing in your studio What you were struggling to capture And I could see you getting closer and closer over the years And it killed me Oh, God, Clara Why couldn’t I just be happy for you?"
She was silent
"And then, when I saw The Three Graces I knew you were there And then that portrait Ruth Oh, God" His shoulders sluin Mary? So full of scorn and bitterness and disappointment"
He opened his arms, then dropped them and exhaled
"And then that dot The tiny bit of white in her eyes Eyes filled with hatred Except for that dot Seeing so"
Peter looked at Clara, so far away across the bed
"It’s not your art I envy It never was"