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At last I snap the case shut and haul it off the bed I grab a jacket, wheel the case down the hall and out onto the landing, then turn and double-lock the front door I take one last look at it, then step into the lift, feeling strong with a new resolve Everything’s going to change froo, to learn what’s really ihteners

Instinctively I jab at the halt button The lift, which was about to descend, gives a kind of gruo without ht have to rethink the whole it-doesn’t-y

I hurry back out of the lift, unlock the front door, and head back into the bedrooht lis into that too

Finally I pick up li, Luke’s voice resounds throughorth it, Becky

I stop still For a few moments I feel a bit sick

I al it behind

Which would be just ridiculous How can I leave behind myto recapture the desire and excite, I remind myself defiantly I have theover these There are waiting lists all over the world

I shift uncomfortably Somehow it feels heavier oncan’t just get heavier, can it?

Oh, right I put h of this I’round floor and wheel the cases out of the gates A lit-up taxi co, and I stick outsuddenly rather stirred up by what I’ to do

"Euston Station, please," I say to the driver,to reconcile with ed sister"

The driver eyes me, unmoved

"Is that the back entrance you want, love?"

Honestly You’d think taxi drivers would have some sense of drama You’d think they’d learn it at taxi school

The roads are clear, and we arrive at Euston in about tenh I’m in some old black-and-white movie There should be clouds of steam everywhere, and the shriek and whistle of trains, and I should be wearing a well-cut tweed suit and fur stole, with marcelled hair

"A ticket to Cumbria, please," I say with a throb of emotion, and drop a fifty-pound note on the counter