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What if I’m on the Atkins diet?

I look around furiously, but Jess is nowhere to be seen And the bloody thing’s too heavy to lift on otten to, anyway?

Suddenly I spot her co cardboard box and talking to a store e with the produce"

I look in the box and it’s full of the , ood If you cut away the black bits," says Jess

"But I don’t want to cut away the black bits!" My voice is shriller than I intended, but I can’t help myself "I want to have nice yellow bananas! And I don’t want this stupid great sack of potatoes, either!"

"You can make three weeks’ worth ofoffended "They’re the most economical, nutritious food you can buy One potato alone--"

Please! Not another potato lecture

"Where aot a cupboard big enough"

"There’s a cupboard in the hall," says Jess "You could use that If you joined a warehouse club you could use it to store flour and oats, too"

Oats? What do I want oats for? And anyway, clearly she hasn’t looked inside that cupboard

"That’scupboard," I point out "And it’s totally full" Jess shrugs

"You could get rid of soet rid of sos… for potatoes?

"Let’s carry on," I say at last, and push the trolley forward as calone in twenty-four hours

But as we progress round the store I a to losein my ear like a bumblebee, on and on until I want to turn round and swat her

You could make your own pizzas for half the price… Have you considered buying a secondhand slow-cooker?… Store-brand washing powder is 40p cheaper… You can use vinegar instead of fabric softener…

"I don’t want to use vinegar!" I almost snap "I want to use fabric softener, OK?" I put a bottle of it into the trolley and stalk off toward the juice section, Jess following behind