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"Bit early," says Tarquin, with a nervous laugh

("Titchy" is Tarquin-speak for drink, by the way And trousers are "tregs" and… you get the picture)

We lapse into another dreadful silence I just can’t stop re awful details from our date -- like when he tried to kiss me and I pretended to be absorbed in a nearby picture Oh God Forget Forget

"I… I heard you wereat the floor "Is that true?"

"Yes," I say, unable to stop"Yes, that’s the plan"

"I went to New York once et on with it"

"No," I say consideringly "No, I can believe that It’s a bit different from Scotland, isn’t it? Much more… frantic"

"Absolutely!" he exclaihtful "That was just it Too frantic And the people are absolutely extraordinary Quite mad, in my opinion"

Compared to what? I want to retort At least they don’t call water "Ho" and sing Wagner in public

But that wouldn’t be kind So I say nothing, and he says nothing -- and when the door opens, we both look up gratefully

"Hi!" says Suze, appearing at the door "Tarkie, you’re here! Listen, I’ve just got to get the car, because I had to park a few streets away the other night I’ll beep when I get back, and we can whiz off OK?"

"OK," says Tarquin, nodding "I’ll just wait here with Becky"

"Lovely!" I say, trying to shtly

Suze disappears, I shift aardly in my seat, and Tarquin stretches his feet out and stares at the at me more andnow, otherwise I’ll disappear off to New York and the chance will be lost

"Tarquin," I say, and exhale sharply "There’s so to say it for a while, actually"

"Yes?" he says, his head jerking up "What… what is it?" Heof nerves But now I’ve started, I’ve got to carry on I’ve got to tell him the truth I push my hair back, and take a deep breath

"That juo with that waistcoat"