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But that was a lie

His hands had been shaking ever since Lucy had left yesterday afternoon He treue, as if all the demons inside him had decided to e, demons of pain, demons of self-pity, and de acknowledgment He’d lost the ability to contain them anymore, and they had free rein of his soul now

He griulp of the amber liquor It burned his throat all the way down He probably wouldn’t be able to hold his sword on the day of the duel Wouldn’t that be a surprise for Fletcher? To find hi, his sword fallen to his feet, useless Christian would o hoht about it And Si at all--to do between now and the duel on the lass and wandered from his study The hall was dark and cold, even if it was only afternoon Couldn’t anyone keep enough fires lit to warm him? He had so many servants; he was a viscount, after all, and he’d be asha over his every whiht to bellow for Newton, but the butler had been hiding the entire day Coward He turned down the hall, his footsteps echoing in his big, lonely house What had el could ever be united? That he’d be able to hide froe in his heart or the stain on his soul?

Madness, pure madness

Simon reached the doors to his conservatory and paused Even from without he could s boy, he’d been mesmerized by the swirl of velvet petals that led to a secret center, hidden and shy, at the flower’s heart The thing about roses was that even when not in bloom, they required constant care The leaves ht, mildew, and parasites The soil must be carefully tended, weeded, and improved The plant itself should be cut back in autuain in the spring A de, selfish flower, the rose, but one that rewarded with spectacular beauty ell cared for

He had a sudden arden to hide fro to the roses, not noticing the boy stealing behind Only, of course, the gardener must have noticed Simon smirked The old arden, ducking his studies In that way both could coexist in the place they loved best without any to blame should they be discovered

He laid his hand on the door feeling the cedar wood, ie arden to hide

Simon pushed open the door, and the hu his hairline as he took a gulp of brandy Newton had ain within an hour of Christian’s departure One would never know that there had been a fight here He moved farther in and waited for the s back his serenity To return his soul to his body and ain--less a demon and more arow of benches, at the neatly ordered pots, at the plants, some mere thorny sticks, some flamboyantly in bloom The colors assaulted his eyes, every shade of white and pink and red and all the iinable hues in between: flesh pink, cold white, black crimson, and a rose the exact shade of Lucy’s lips It was a dazzling display that had taken him most of his adult life to collect, a masterpiece of horticulture

He looked up to where the glass ceiling ca the delicate plants within and keeping the chill London ithout He looked down to the carefully laid bricks beneath his feet, arranged in a herringbone pattern, orderly and neat The greenhouse was exactly as he’d envisioned it ten years before, when he’d had it built It was in every way the cule, of peace It was perfect

Except that Lucy was not here

There would never again be peace for him Sih, and threw it to the bricks Glass shattered across the path

THE DARK CLOUDS HANGING LOW in the sky threatened rain or ether She should’ve worn arden thiseach dead leaf, each frozen stem hite fur She touched a withered apple and watched the frost ertip The apple beneath was still dead

It was really too chill to be outside, but she was restless today, and the house felt confining She’d tried sitting inside, working on a sketch of a country kitchen still life: big earthen bowl, brown eggs, and Mrs Brodie’s freshly baked bread The eggs had turned ainst the paper, e She’d left Simon because she couldn’t stand his choices She’d felt herself in turht death hied it before, that part of her flight was fear--the constant, agonizing worry that he ht die in one of his duels Yet here, in the quiet of her childhood home, the turmoil within herself was much worse The silence, the very lack of drama, was alainst Sie She could make love to him

Here, she was alone Simply alone

She , the ache of loss when she’d left him After all, she cared for him very igantic hole in the fabric of her life, a hole in her very being She wasn’t at all sure she could live without him And while that sounded melodramatic, it was also sadly true She very much feared that she would return to her husband not because of the uive the sinner--but because of a mundane truth

She could not live apart from him

No matter what he’d done, no matter what he would do in the future, no matter what he was, she still

"Goodness, it’s freezing out here Whatever are you doing, haunting the garden like the ghost of a wronged wo around at the irritable voice

Patricia hopped from one foot to the other behind her She’d pulled her hood around her face and held a furall but her china-blue eyes "Coht now before you turn to ice"

Lucy smiled at her friend "Very well"

Patricia heaved a sigh of relief and scurried in the back door without waiting for her Lucy followed behind

When she came inside, Patricia already had her cloak and estured at Lucy’s hood "And let’s go in the sitting room I’ve already asked Mrs Brodie for tea"

Soon they were seated in the little back roo pot of tea before them

"Ahh" Patricia held her cup before her face, nearly bathing in the waroodness Mrs Brodie kno to heat the water properly" She took a sip of tea and set down her cup in a businesslike manner "Now tell me about London and your new life"

"It’s very busy," Lucy said slowly "London, that is There is so o and I adored it"

"Lucky" Patricia sighed "I’d love to see all the people in their finest clothes"

"Mmm" Lucy smiled "My sister-in-law, Rosalind, is quite kind She’s takenand shown me her favorite places I have a niece as well She plays with tin soldiers"

"Very unique And your new husband?" Patricia asked in a too-innocent tone "How is he?"

"Simon is well"

"Because I did notice that you ca without him"