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The sudden uncertainty I felt aboutexams, put me in a foul temper I said little at our noon ing comments about their most recent missives froingly Spink followed their conversation He looked a wreck His unifor on his thin frame, unbrushed and rather spotted with mud about the cuffs His eyes were red, his hair unruly, and his skin gone sallow frohts The ruh not the reason for it It made him an object of curiosity and speculation, and if he had had the spirit to pay attention to the stares that followed hiht before exams, Spink was sick to his stoed lack of sleep hadsession, he siave up He closed his books and without a word, only a doleful glance around at us, went off to bed Our in with, sank into the depths Gord was the next to surrender "Guess I’m either ready for them or not I’ve done the best I can," he observed He heaved hian to stack up his books
"Done as much as you can for now, and will do as much as you should tomorrow," Trist observed Hewas clear to all of us Gord didn’t rise to it
"I’ll do all I can to pass every one ofMore than that, none of us can do"
"One of us could do more, if he had the balls to do it If he really cared about the rest of the patrol" Trist raised his voice on the last sentence, to be certain Gord had heard it The closing of the bedroom door was his only response Trist uttered an obscenity and sagged back in his chair "That fat bastard is going to do us all in with his phony honor He’s probably hoping we’ll all be culled Then he can go hoet about being a soldier I’ to bed"
Trist slammed his book shut disdainfully, as if there were no use in further studying, as if all hinged on Gord and Spink and none of us could do anything to change our fates
Rory closed his books nation "My head is as stuffed as it can get I’ Our scores won’t be posted until after the break So I’ht be the only opportunity I ever have Night, fellows"
"He’s got a point," Caleb declared "I, for one, aet I’ve heard the whores will be free that night, but just in case, I’ve saved two , I will"
"You’ll be the one li, after you come doith the dick scald You hear what happened to Corporal Hawley from Shinter House? Dick scald so bad he couldn’t even piss without screa Don’t take a chance on the whores, friend" This from Rory, over his shoulder as he left
"Ha! Haas too cheap to go to a good house Took alley girls, is what I heard Not irl knocks the back of her head against a brick wall"
"I’ust with them both "Good luck, everyone" As he stood, Natred did, too I began stacking my books, as did every other man at the table
Tomorrow, I kneould determine my entire future It burned in my heart that even if I scored perfectly on every test to me low I looked round at them, and for a moment I knew hatred for Colonel Stiet and the Academy and even my fellow cadets
Later, as I lay in bed, I closed rope my way toward sleep, but could not reach it Eyes closed, body relaxed, my mind hovered in the place betakefulness and rest I felt I dangled, helpless, over an abyss and that I had no power to savewas doubtless responsible for htan not with terror, but with coht broke through the canopy overhead and dappled my skin, and I ss The rich smells of humus rose around me I picked up a handful and considered it It was a layer from yesterday’s leaf down to the black loao Busy little insects toiled in it A tiny worhed at his fears and restored all to the forest soil All ell I said as much to my mentor "The world lives and dies as it should today"