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I wokerestlessly in ed in ently desired an answer Why was the city better than the forest that had once stood there? That hat I wanted to know, and yet the question itself made no sense tointo a tar hole I dreaed-off hill above the river, and that a presence walked at my side Every time I tried to turn and look at him, he was always just a few steps behind liround His shoulders ide, and above his head I saw the shadows of antlers We walked up the burned and scarred hillside Everywhere h work clothes plied their axes and saws, oblivious of our passing They shouted genially to one another, and sweated as they hacked and chopped all through the chill day When a horn sounded, they all hiked down the hill to a noon meal of soup and bread Finally I turned to my companion and answered his unspoken question

"You will find no answer here They don’t knohy they do it They are told to do this by others who give them money for their work They have never lived here or hunted here They only came here to do this task And when it is done, they will leave and not look back It never belonged to them, and so what they destroy is no loss to them"

I saw the shadow of the antlered head nod slowly He did not speak, but I heard a woman’s voice say heavily, "As they do here, so will they do in every place that they go It is worse than I feared You see that I aain I woke, sweating as if I had just broken a fever Bleakness settled over me as I recalled the pale stumps like broken teeth, and the old scar on the top of my head pounded I felt sick with someone else’s sorrow It was aover the n and petty When I tried to refocus my mind on them, I drifted into a restless sleep

I stood before a tribunal, at attention, in hfell onme The rest of the room was in shadow I felt cold stone undersave stand in cold dread while voices from above discussed uish the words, but I knew they judged me A cold fear filled me

Suddenly a voice came clear "Soldier’s boy"

The voice had sounded feminine I was confused "Yes, ravid with soleiven to you to turn thees and tried to pierce the diht up in the moment, sir When they called us, I ran out with the others and joined in the fight I am sorry, sir I failed to think for myself I showed no leadership" A deep shame floodedto defendin the distance I turnedfrom and fell, to awaken on the cold floorboards of ot up off the floor, feeling as if I hadn’t slept at all Every bruise on rim reminder of my foolishness the day before

My head was still filled with foreboding fro from their beds as slowly as I was Uncertainty filled me Were we still confined to barracks? My storaced or not, I was hungry I dressed and shaved despite the swollen places on my face Spink finally voiced our question aloud "Do you think we just go down to breakfast like nothing happened, or wait up here until we’re called?"

We had not long to wait for an answer A ru up the stairs to demand that we immediately asseed to be mostly presentable, even Jared and Trent Trent had to button his coat around his splint, and Jared still seeet our entire patrol out onto the parade ground

It was a chill darkWe stood in the predawn blackness and waited We heard the horn sound and still we stood in our ranks I was cold, hungry, and, above all else, frightened When Colonel Stiet finally appeared, I did not knohether to be relieved or even htened For an hour or more, he lashed us with a lecture on the traditions of the cavalla, the honor of the Academy, and the responsibility of each soldier to uphold the honor of his regiain that there would be serious repercussions for our riot yesterday, and that the ringleaders responsible for it would be leaving the Academy forever in shame When he finally dismissed us, all hope and appetite were dead in me