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Itkovian re-entered the headquarters, walked down the hallway skirting the outer wall until he came to the tower entrance His armour shifted and clanked as he made his way up the steep stone stairs He tried to drive out i eyes, the runnels of sweat tracking her brow through the layer of ash, the way she stood, back arched, chest thrown out in deliberate, provocative invitation He resented the rebirth of long-buried desires now plaguing hi with naught but silence, as if his god was indifferent to the sacrifices Itkovian had made in his name
And perhaps that is the final,for ascetic i for rules of conduct, for the twisted h at the chains rap around ourselves -- our endless, insatiable need to find flaithin the dee at us Perhaps our denial of life’s celebration is our greatest insult to those orship and serve
He reached the arms room at the top of the circular stairs, nodded distractedly at the two soldiers stationed there, then made his way up the ladder to the roof platform
The Destriant was already there Karnadas studied Itkovian as the Shield Anvil joined him ’Yours, sir, is a troubled mien’
’Aye, I do not deny it I have had discourse with Prince Jelarkan, which closed with his displeasure Subsequently, I spoke with Hetan Destriant, my faith is assailed’
’You question your vows’
’I do, sir I ad their veracity’
’Has it been your belief, Shield Anvil, that your rules of conduct existed to appease Fener?’
Itkovian frowned as he leaned on the merlon and stared out at the smoke-wreathed enemy camps ’Well, yes-’
’Then you have lived under a misapprehension, sir’
’Explain, please’
’Very well You found a need to chain yourself, a need to enforce upon your own soul the strictures as defined by your vows In other words, Itkovian, your voere born of a dialogue with yourself -- not with Fener The chains are your own, as is the possession of the keys hich to unlock theer required’
’No longer required?’
’Aye When all that is enco ceases to threaten your faith’
’You suggest, then, that my crisis is not with my faith, but with my vows That I have blurred the distinction’
’I do, Shield Anvil’