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"No it doesn’t You’re just trying on different identities, like everyone in those Shakespeare plays And the people we pretend at, they’re already in us That’s e pretend the first-year French, so I ask her, as casually as possible, how one alese bartender whose brother lives in Rochester At first she looks at me, shocked It’s probably the first ti more involved than "Are these socks yours?" since school started

"Well, that would depend on lots of factors," she says "Who are these people? What is your relationship to thee of nuance"

"Uet on the phone?"

Kali narrows her eyes at raust "Fine They are, respectively, a total bitchy beauty and a really nice guy I ht club, and I feel like they ht hold the key to mymy happiness Does that help you with your nuance?"

Kali closes her textbook and turns to ainst her chin "Do you happen to know the brother from Rochester’s name?"

I shake my head "He told it to s "Just seems if you had it, you could track him down in Rochester and then find his brother"

"Oh, my God, I didn’t even think of that Maybe I can re things happen when you ask for help" She gives me a pointed look

"Do you want to know the whole story?"

Her raised eyebrow says Do pigs like mud?

So I tell her, Kali, the unlikeliest of confidantes, a brief version of the saga

"Oh My God So that explains it"

"Explains what?"

"Why you have been such a loner, always saying no to us We thought you hated us"

"What? No! I don’t hate you I just felt like a reject and felt so bad you guys got stuck with me"

Kali rolls her eyes "I broke up with ot here, and Jenn split with her girlfriend Why do you think I have sosad and homesick That’s e partied so much"

I shake my head I didn’t know I didn’t think to know And then I laugh "I’ve had the sairlfriend I’ve ever really hung out with, so it’s like Ihow to be friends with people"

"You arten too"

I stare at her helplessly Of course I went to kindergarten

"If you went to kindergarten, you learned how tothey teach you" She stares at ins

"You have to be a friend," I finish, reht in Mrs Finn’s class Or maybe it was from Barney

She smiles as she picks up the pen "I think it’ll be simpler if you just ask for this Céline chick and the bartender froalese bartenders are there? Then if you get the bartender, you can ask if he has a brother in Rochester"

"Roché Estair," I correct "That’s what he called it"

"I can see why It sounds much classier that way Here" She hands rave; Céline ou au baral, s’il vous plait She has written both the French and the phonetic translations "That’s how you ask for the the calls, let rave; Céline ou au baral, s’il vous plait One week later, I’ve uttered this phrase so ly depressing phone calls--that I swear I’ it in my sleep I rave; Céline ou au baral, s’il vous plaitThat’s what I say And then one of three things happens: One, I get hung up on Two, I get so up on Those I cross off the list, a definitive no But three is when the people launch into turbo-French, to which I aal? I repeat into the receiver, the words sinking like defective life rafts I have no idea what these people are saying Maybe they’re saying Céline and the Giant are at lunch but will be back soon Orthat Céline is here but she’s downstairs having sex with a tall Dutchman

I take Kali up on her offer of help, and sometialese bartender, but more often than not, she’s as baffled as I aalese na calls but come up empty

After the twenty-fourth htclubs anywhere in the vicinity of Gare du Nord Then I remember the name of the band on the T-shirt Céline had in the club, the one she gave to Willele Sous ou Sur and look up all their tour dates But if they played at Céline’s nightclub, it was a long tio, because now they’re apparently broken up

By this point, more than three weeks have passed since Ihope on that front too The chances of finding hi is, that feeling of rightness, it doesn’t If anything, it grows brighter

"How’s your search for Sebastian going?" Professor Glenny calls after class one day as we’re lining up to get our Cyroupies all look at me with envy Ever since I told him about Guerrilla Will, he has a newfound respect for me And, of course, he’s always loved Dee

"Sort of dried up," I tell hirins "Always more leads What is it the detectives in film always say? ‘Gotta think outside the box’" He says the last part in a terrible New York accent He hands me my paper "Nice work"