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My traitorous stoles Willes that the waiter recommended He doesn’t even bother to ask ht now all I want is wine I reach out for another glass, but Wille of the carafe "You have to eat so"
"So?" I shove a whole piece of baguette and pâté intoany satisfaction I’lass
Willee with a refill and then that lazy half smile In one day, I’ve come to love that smile And noant to murder it
We sit in silence until the waiter returns to deliver the salad with a flourish befitting the beautiful dish: a still life of pink salus, yellow mustard sauce, and toast points scattered around the side of the plate like blosso the white flag, telling ive in, to quit while I’m ahead, to accept the nice day I had, which really, is far ht to hope for But there’s another part of ry not just for food, but for everything that’s been laid out in front of irl, I refuse the salad
"You’re still upset," he says "It’s not so bad as I thought It won’t even scar"
Yes, it will Even if it heals up next week, it’ll scar, although maybe not in the way he e on my neck
He won’t look at me He knows da, okay?"
"You’re sending me back Do what you have to do, but don’t askcandlelight, I see his expressions pass by like fast clouds: surprise, amusement, frustration, and tenderness--orto leave tomorrow, so what’s the difference?" He brushes some bread crumbs off the tablecloth
The difference, Willeht
"Whatever," is my stellar reply
"Whatever?" Willelass; it horn "Did you think about ould happen?"
It’s all I’ve been thinking about, and all I’ve been trying not to think about: What would happen tonight
But again, I’ve misunderstood hiht us?" he continues
I could feel what they wanted to do to him I could taste their violence in my own mouth "That’s why I threw the book at them; they wanted to hurt you," I say "What did you say to thery," he says, evading ave them a different reason" But by his answer and the look on his face, I can tell that I’ to hurt him What I felt about that, at least, was real
"Can you iht us? You?" Willem voice is so quiet I have to lean in to hear him "Look what they did" He reaches over as if to touch my neck, but then pulls back
In the adrenaline of the chase and the weird euphoria that followed, I hadn’t thought about the s on our feet; they had leaden boots But now, here, with Willee, somber expression, with his bloody bandanna crumpled into a ball on the side of the table, I can hear those boots getting closer, can hear the
"But they didn’t catch us" I s the treulp of wine
He finishes his wine and stares at the eht you here for"
"What did you bring me here for?" Because he never answered that Never said why he asked me to come to Paris with him for the day
He rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands When he removes his hands, he looks different soet out of control"
"Well, a little late for that" I’s of Lulu I have left But when I say it, the truth of it wallopssince passed the point of no return
I look back at him His eyes lock on mine The current clicks back on
"I suppose it is," Willeht, and time really is fluid Because as we eat, my watch sits there on the table and see And then at one point, sorave;me brûlée, Willeit back on his wrist I feel this profound sense of relief Not just that I’ charge of tiain My surrender is now complete
It is late e spill out onto the streets, and Paris has turned into a sepia-toned photograph It’s too late to get a hotel or youth hostel, and there’s no ave the rest of my cash, my forty pounds, to Willem to help pay for dinner The waiter protested e paid, not because we gave hiave him the equivalent of a twenty-five-dollar tip "Too ht
But now here I ahts you think you’re scared of until they’re upon you, and then you’re not
And so alk The streets are quiet It seereen ju like they were plucked frohts as cars and taxis pass by, splashing through the puddles left by the earlier downpour, which has now softened to athe quiet canals and then along the park with the lake where we hitched a ride earlier in the day We walk under the elevated railroad tracks
Eventually, ind up in a sns are all lit up
"Look," I say to Wille to one "It’s double happiness"
Willen His face is beautiful, even reflected in the bright neon glow
"Double happiness" He smiles Then he takes oing?"
"You never got to see any art"