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Thank God she spun away and ran off both tih there were--dammit--tears in her eyes) before I could react I probably would’ve fallen to ed her, or some crap And I definitely would’ve finished that kiss I hadn’t let her start Who kneould’ve followed, but I’hterguns after that She was Noel Gamble’s one and only sister; I could not fuck her No matter what I needed to take drastic th I needed tookay, fine Fuck I just needed to be h it probably seemed that way to her

So I let her have the full intensity of Ten I stopped watching what I said when she was around, and I let all hts bleed out ofat her, stopped paying her special attention with little courteous things like holding doors open for her or asking her how her day went I couy I backed off and prettycrude to say in her direction I made sure to chase other woht I lay in bed, unable to get to sleep, because I’d relive every awful thing I’d done to her that day

No h, it didn’t stop s she’d ever had for me

It should’ve been easy to accomplish Everyone who knew me understood how fast I could piss off a wo about Caroline has ever been easy

That’s the curious thing about teh and sheturns into obsession Pretty soon, nothing in your life is as i you want but can’t have

I wanted her and I couldn’t have her, so I fed the te nursed the obsession froot little doses of her here and there Except soh ti shit about her, little useless crap that actually begins to , like how she brushes the hair out her face--even if there isn’t any in her eyes--whenever she’s unsettled, or how she chews on the end of a pen during class whenever she’s listening to so that captures her attention You learn all her different laughs and knohat each one means You learn what pisses her off the most, or what makes her the happiest You discover how smart and witty and sarcastic she is, and that her mind is almost as dirty as yours You see how passionate she becomes when she defends those she loves, and you start to fall Hard

So, this is , and I have fallen Hard

Dairl I’ve never even kissed, much less fucked But I’ her away, except I’oddamn bad

It’s my own damn fault, really I could’ve and should’ve turned her off of ood by now It’s just that every ti that will ive ht of her hating o and do soiveness

She always forgives h she shouldn’t But I love that about her, that sweet, beautiful, over-forgiving, dirty- down this destructive path, knowing good and well I’ ’s gotta give soon or I’ll explodemost likely inside her

I just hope it doesn’t end up with me dead at the hands of my best friend

"Ooh, he’s cute Caroline, don’t you think he’s cute?"

I sighed as Blaze--and yes, she’d given herself that name--shoved me in the arm for like the tenth tilass of cola I was nursing

"Yeah," I said, not even bothering to check out the newest hottie she’d spotted "He’sadorable"

Usually, I was all for checking out anyone within ht, I was anti-Y, so freaking anti-Y that I’d rather throw a vat of flesh-eating acid on the lot of the, cute ses, or pecs