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The traffic began to crawl again Outside, freezing fog, darkness, snow on the fields and piled high along the verges where the ploughs had been through

He glanced at Saain His face was innocent and expressionless in sleep He did not stir when Si

‘Hi We’re jao but the traffic’s solid’

‘OK I’en House, and there’s been another snowfall today The main roads are fine but it’s bad around us How’s Sam?’

‘Asleep’

‘I’ve missed him I didn’t think I’d miss him so much’

‘He’s reat week Any news?’

‘Sort of Hannah is in the last three for this fil so shallow and frivolous for hter and I want it so et it And you’ll focus’

‘Bit worried about Dad and Judith Stor up there’

‘Oh Godhe just can’t help it, can he?’

‘I know I’’

‘Listen, we’re ht?’

‘Let’s see God, I forgot – what about Molly?’

‘Discharged home with her parents and recovered – physically at least’

‘That says it all We’reproperly now See you in a bit’

Cat put the phone down and finished her tea The staff-roolad of it, as they all sometimes hen a break was badly needed She had done so sky and the sno that her son and brother were on their way home and Molly was safely off with her family, she could relax at least one part of herself, the part that was always tense when this or that person ay or travelling There remained the semi-anxiety, se that she would get the filh she tried to keep it out of her mind When it came to Richard and Judith she veered between hope and despair and that was harder to forget, it flowed deep down and even through her drea and troubled her at rando at once where she was needed

‘I think you should try her daughter again’

‘Would youit? Not sure I’ve the patience’

‘Not sure I have,’ Cathy said ‘But let ot from Penny, Cat saw as she went into Jocelyn Forbes’s rooht hand on the cover, pal for soing as death took over Cat took hold of the hand, utterly unresponsive as it was, and pressed it

The silence in the roo silence She had known it so often, this strange sense of being ‘at the still point of the turning world’, and never ceased to be overcoht Death, how little we kno often and how surely you coht and how little we trust to that Even Chris, she realised now Everything that had been wrong was put right, even though her world had split open from end to end and forever

She sat beside Jocelyn Forbes, hand still on hers, reoodbye

The door opened quietly Cat looked at Cathy, who shook her head

But half an hour later, Penny Forbes burst through the doors, dishevelled and out of control, upsetting a wo to see Cat after the death of a beloved husband and father They were quiet, stunned, pale, anxious, needing tenderness and gentle answers to unanswerable questions Penny gave no sign of being aware of the to knohy she had not been told that Jocelyn was about to die so that she could have been with her, deThe fa at her out of shocked and tear-stained faces, the hter fro desperately at Lois, the receptionist, willing her to make Penny disappear

It was the ever-capable Cathy who fielded her, led her to the faht her coffee and tissues, sat beside her

‘I want to see Dr Deerbon, she’s the one who’s answerable for this, she’s the one who has to explain’

‘Dr Deerbon will be with you as soon as she can She’s seeing a bereaved fah these last months, she knows that And I’ve been unwell, I’ve had to take a lot of time off work as a result of the strain of it all I think Dr Deerbon owes it to me to see me before other people I could have seen my mother before she died, I could have talked to her, and we had a lot of unfinished business I had her and now I’ve no one’

Staff Nurse Cathy Loughran knew all there was to know about Penny Forbes in relation to her , nodded sympathetically, sat patiently She was used to every sort of fa to blows – used to genuine grief, rief which ran shallow Penny had hidden away, frightened of a final encounter with herto face the truth Now she had retreated into her oorld and erected a ring of defences around herself The inevitable had happened – Jocelyn had died without her daughter saying goodbye and resolving any tensions and differences they er with the bereaved fa each one of the how irreplaceable these moments were and how they would value the in a sad, close group, clinging to one another for co back several times to where they had left the one person they wanted to be able to take with the and could no longer do so People had strong feelings towards the hospice in which those they loved had died, wanting to stay, to co a part of what they could not bear to abandon

Cat had watched from the doorway until their car turned out into the road, after which she took a deep breath, sent up a prayer for strength and patience with a woman as, in truth, one more of the bereaved in need of cory with herself and directed that anger onto Cat, who could take it but who still had to bite her tongue when accused of keeping the woman away fro herself and then suggested that she o to see Jocelyn now She had been moved into the hospice chapel of rest, which so room’ Cat led Penny in It was a place of co was at an end and the dead person was safe from fear and at rest, whatever beliefs or unbeliefs were held Cat never failed to gain consolation and strength fro in the chapel with the dead, always felt herself to be in the irabbed Cat’s ar her back ‘I can’t I can’t face it’

‘It’s entirely up to you But you should see her You need to make your peace with her, Penny’

‘What? What do you oodbye If you don’t you’ll regret it for the rest of your life’

Penny had turned away and buried her face in a handkerchief Cat felt her patience fraying to breaking point

‘I’ll come with you’

‘I don’t want to see her like that’

‘But not long ago you were going to watch her kill herself in a Swiss clinic This is going to be easier’

‘Iand supportive’

‘I’ve never seen a dead body A human one’

‘This is your mother, Penny – not "a dead body" She looks peaceful and she looks younger’

It was several more minutes before Penny shuffled reluctantly in behind Cat The door swung slowly to and closed with barely a sound

Jocelyn did indeed look peaceful and younger, her face less lined now and her features relaxed and gentle Cat went over and put her hand on the dead one Cool Very different from the last time But Jocelyn’s hand, nonetheless

One second and there was a blessed silence The next, there was a sound that made Cat step back as if in self-defence Penny had put her head back and let out a terrible noise from the back of her throat, a noise between a roar and a wail that echoed round the small room It seemed that Jocelyn lay as still as she did out of a sort of defiance, eyes closed against it

The door opened and Cat esture to the , to indicate that she was all right, but then she took Penny by the arm and led her out of the chapel