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"In the bed opposite the kitchen door I’ll get it"

"There is always a onderful weather around now--quiet weather" Judith took the bunch of thyme from Cat, and lifted her hand to smell its muskiness on the stalk "If he wants to stay here at home, he should," she said "You know I’ll help you as e without you It’s the children …"

"Don’t try and hide everything fro Any parsley?"

"I’ll get it"

Mephisto followed her, padding carefully between the rows and pushing his face against her outstretched hand

"Having the nurses twice a day is brilliant, though they treat me like Chris’s GP not his wife I don’t want to be his doctor, Judith I want to talk to hi, not as a patient I know I can do medical stuff if I have to, especially in the et them not to think of me as the doc"

"He doesn’t though"

"True You’re very good at seeing things in perspective, did you know that?"

Judith laughed

"You’re very good for Dad too"

"Thanks," Judith said, pleasantly but in a tone that Cat recognised as one barring further discussion Well, that was fine She wasn’t about to start probing Judith was happy, the relationship seeht She didn’t need to know anyaardly against the sink, Cat in the open doorway--looking at the spinning leaves as they caught the sun

"I want this to be over," Cat said "I can say it to you I want it to be over for Chris because it’s terrible but I want it to be over for me I never understood this before--patients whose family said it They couldn’t bear them to die and they couldn’t wait for the is I can’t say any prayers about this--it’s what I’ve always done and suddenly I can’t"

"Doesn’t matter Let the rest of us do that for you I think it’s probably quite nor one asks, is it?"

"What, you mean is it isn’t PC?"

"Sort of"

"I’m a Catholic Not a very conscientious Catholic but I aet a bit fed up with the Pope Still, the Pope isn’t God, whatever he may believe to the contrary Now, I need to finish this casserole"

As Cat helped Judith to sit at the kitchen table, Chris was calling and Felix had woken froo to Chris," Judith said, covering the casserole against Mephisto

As Cat went into the bedroo her, his eyes closed, but when she touched him he opened them and said, "I’m so cold"

She hesitated only for a second, then she lay down beside him and pulled the quilt over them both, and moved closer, to hold hi

"I love you," Cat said "I love the children but I loved you first"

He coughed suddenly and took several short, rapid breaths, coughed again "Cold"

"I know It’s cold Winter’s co, Sam and Hannah will be back from school in a minute Do you want the she could not an to jerk spashed several ti

"Chris?"

"Sam?"

"Yes Judith has ry"

He moved his head and cried out

"Let me check the pump"

But he clutched on to her hard so that she did not move His body was cold His body was unbelievably thin She could feel bone beneath skin It seemed as if there were no flesh

"Stay … here …"

"I will"

From the kitchen she heard Felix’s chatter Judith’s calhter

Tears caain Were still She lay holding hiht to silver blue and then flared golden and red as the sun went down Autuether The car caed Her father’s voice on the stairs calling her name Then he entered into the room quietly She had not put the lamp on The wall opposite her was flushed rose red in the last of the sun Richard came over and bent down to Chris, touched his forehead, lifted his wrist gently and felt his pulse Cat turned her head to him He nodded

"I’ll help out downstairs," he said and went out

After a moment, Cat asked, "Would you like to see the children for just a second?"

But Chris’s arain, his head turned away from her Cat touched the back of his neck and then his head very gently

"Poor old boy," she said, "poor head" She bent nearer and kissed it

The sun slipped further down, off the wall The sky darkened to violet and grey

In the kitchen, Richard and Judith sat at the kitchen table with Sam and Hannah, tea, juice and toast

"What’s for supper later?"

"Beef casserole and fruit crumble"

"Can I have the crumble and not the fruit?"

"I’ll eat her fruit, she hates fruit and you should eat fruit, shouldn’t you, it s"

"Hannah likes some fruit, don’t you, Hanny?"

"Bananas"

"See? That’s not enough, is it?"

"Bananas are OK, Saot up and pushed back his chair "I’ to see Daddy"

"I don’t want to see him in bed, I only want to see him when he’s better," Hannah said

"Oh, you are so stupid, stupid, stupid, he isn’t ever getting better, don’t you know that?"

Hannah dropped her toast on the plate and howled Felix stared at her over the lid of his beaker Sah the door like a shadow and fast up the stairs Richard got up

"Let him be," Judith said "Cat knohat to do"

Richard frowned but then sat down again, and after a second, put his hand on Hannah’s arm

Upstairs, as Cat lay beside her husband, Sa that it was different now, that there was so in the silence and the stillness that he had never known before, he stopped just inside the roo "Sam, do you want to co?"

"Daddy just died A fewmore deeply And then he wasn’t … he died"

"Now?"

"A little while ago"

"Should I tell them?"

"I think I’d better do that"

"Can I look at him?"

"Of course you can Do you want me to put the lamp on?"

"No" Saht fro"

Slowly, Sam came to the bed Cat reached out her hand and he took it and squeezed it tightly After aand then finally touching Chris

Cat held her son closely and put her hand over his

In the kitchen a fewthe plates and cups onto a tray, paused and looked at Richard He held her gaze Hannah had gone to feed her hamster