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"OK, I’ll catch up with her later Thank you"

No response

Bay 3 was off to one side and Sister Wicks was there Fourteen-year-old Nancy Lee lay attached to the es Herone of her hands in both her own But when Jane went quietly in and she looked up, she smiled, an open and beautiful smile, full of joy and relief

Sister Wicks said, "Good news," nodding to Nancy

"Yes?"

"The tunant and they reood"

Jane’s eyes filled with tears That , when she had coone down to theatre, the prognosis had been grinant and difficult to remove

Nancy’s mother said, "It’s a miracle It’s just the ood news," Jane said She felt uneasy when people claiery or early on in a serious illness What was a ht of Chris Deerbon, for wholanced at Nancy’s young face She looked infinitely distant, infinitely frail

"Will you say a prayer of thanks? God has been so good, he keeps his proelical Christian, entirely sure of her Bible-based faith, shining with righteousness as she held her daughter’s hand

It is more difficult than this, Jane wanted to say, it is never so simple, we can never clai She put her hand lightly on Nancy’s head and gave her a blessing

"I’ll co then It is early days you know"

"She’s going to make a full recovery We can trust in that"

Jane se she worried that she had sounded too negative or had see a priest in the Church of England if she did not accept that miracles happened and prayers were answered? She believed in the power of prayer Miracles, though--ere they? Rareties, that was sure A nosis which turned out to have been too pessi better than everyone had dared to hope or expect--that was explicable and sorateful for but not a ood and bad outcomes all the time--she had seen both herself in the course of that day Yet she had seemed to reject one woman’s faith and she blahtfully across the college quad It was quiet The air sh it was quite war here and there She kne lucky she was, to have the privilege of a set of rooe, a part-time chaplaincy both here and at the hospital, and a doctorate to study for She hadturns, didn’t believe herself to be cut out for her previous jobs Now, she had tih to justify the trust people had placed in her, "yet again" she thought She wondered why the confidence, which had been so strong when she first determined to be a priest, had weakened so much

There was a note pinned to the door of her rooms "Dear Jane, would you have tea at four thirty within co, from the senior chaplain, and the "tea at four thirty" e

A few people were in to dinner and she stayed talking in the combination room until just before ten She barely knew anyone but introductions were easy in a college and she feltto work for an hour and also to ring Cat Deerbon But before that, she switched on the television to catch the news As the picture came up, Si at hi to her, and his coris It was easy enough to tell that Simon was on the spot and hard not to syun spree while the police appeared to be doing nothing to stop it But after a mohts, giving a press conference, but outside the bungalohich she had been held by ato calm hi for her, reassuring her She reether She had cooked a makeshift supper She had enjoyed his company but, at the last minute, rebuffed him, backed off, uncertain and confused, still in shock after what had happened to her She had not been able to give Simon a chance and she knew that because he never found closeness easy, he had been both surprised and hurt at her behaviour He had not understood why, having taken such a risk, he had found hi the last weekend before going into the abbey, she had written hiise and to explain

She had never posted it

The phone rang for a long time before Cat answered

"It’s Jane"

"Sorry, I was upstairs with Chris"

"That’s why I’ on, let "

"Good, but you will always say if it’s a bad ti about it, won’t you? I don’t want to intrude"

"You absolutely do not But yes, I will always say He’s feeling pretty bad … hisand he sleeps a lot He’s on massive medication of course and he’s had three radiotherapy treatments"

"Any help?"

"Hard to say yet I have my doubts"

"Have you told the children?"

"Oh yes As much as I can Sam understands … he’s very quiet about it But he sidles up to s about rather a lot Hannah--I don’t know She’s such a bouncy little thing, I’ to die, Jane … I’ve said I’ to be well but that isn’t the sa Felix is too young of course, though he notices that he can’t crash about all over Chris as usual I have to keep him away, he’s so boisterous Dad has been here today Blunt as ever Judith didn’t cohter I could have done with her, she takes the edge off Dad But Simon came and he’s the one person who has the knack with Chris … nothing fazes hi and Chris takes it"

"I just saw him on the news"

"I missed it--Chris needed a sick bowl Hoas Si?"

"Very professional Griuy’s running rings round them Have you been in touch with him?"

"No"

"I think he’d like it"

"I’ll see Maybe when they’ve got this one cracked"

"That e?"

"Wonderful Love it Love everything It’s right, Cat … I just want it to stay right I’ve made too many o, Chris is calling Ring ain I’ll need you"

Jane went to theand opened it The air shts were on but it was alet Simon out of her mind His face on the television screen His face as she had looked up and directly into it at Karin’s funeral His face all that tio as he had told her he wanted to see more of her, as he had sat in her kitchen in the Lafferton bungalow after supper

But she had fled a long way across the country, to get away from hiht She did not want to go through her days with the i at the back of her mind