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Why haven’t we heard this thing before? Seth wondered

She probably never moos I think she’s in pain, Kendra observed See hoollen the udder looks? I bet it could fill a swi pool

Seriously

So

And nobody did today, said Seth

They stood and stared The cow continuedfrom the hayloft Seth pointed at the back of the barn

Chapter Seventeen

Look at the est cow pie!

You would notice that

The cow let out another bellowing complaint, the most insistent so far They cla stopped

We probably should try to milk her, Kendra said

How are we supposed to do that! Seth cried

There has to be a way They ies

I bet that cow could tear this place apart if she wanted

Imore upset Her udder looks like it’s about to burst Who knohat kind of powers she has Her iantaround loose

It could be totalhis arms, Seth surveyed the task This is impossible

We need to search the closets Maybe they have special tools

What about Grandpa?

We’re out of leads, said Kendra If we don’t milk this coe could end up with a new disaster on our hands

In the closets they found a variety of tools and equipantuan cows There were empty barrels all around, in and out of closets, which Kendra figuredmilk In one closet Kendra found a couple of A-fraht be all we need, she said

Hoe even get our hands around those things?

We don’t

There has to be a giganticlike that But itand drop

Are you nuts?

Why not? Kendra said,between the teats and the floor It isn’t that far fro to use barrels?

No, we can waste the et in the way We just need to relieve the pressure

What if she steps on us?

She hardly has any room to move If we stay under the udder, we’ll be fine

They dragged the ladders into position, one beside each of two teats on the same side of theone rung frorip the teat near the udder

Seth stood waiting while Kendra tried to get into position

These feel wobbly, she said

Balance

She hesitantly stood upright It felt a lot higher than it had looked froround You ready?

No I bet this barn will hold her

We have to at least try

Hug the thingy and slide down? Seth asked

We’ll trade off, you, then me, then you, then me

Then we’ll do the other side

How about you start it?

You’re better at this sort of stuff, Kendra said

That’s true, I iant cows I’ll show you ed Kendra

What if it hurts her?

I don’t think we’re big enough I’et any out

So I should squeeze as hard as I can, Seth confirmed

Sure

Once I do it, you’ll do it, and we’ll just keep going as fast as we can

And if I ever find a giant cowtrophy, I’ll buy it for you, Kendra offered

I’d rather we kept it our little secret You ready?

Go for it

Hesitantly Seth placed a hand against the huge teat

The cowthe ladder with both hands to steady hihed Finally the foghorn ed my mind, Seth said

I’ll count to three, said Kendra

You go first or I’ it I almost fell and wet my pants at the same time

One two three!

Seth stepped off the ladder, e with an ied the teat as well Even with her holding tightly, it slid through her embrace faster than she expected She hit the floor ar her jeans

Seth was on his way back up the ladder I’ain

This time he kept his feet when he landed Kendra went up and slid down again Hugging as hard as she could, she descended a little more slowly, but still fell over when she hit the floor Already milk was everywhere

Soon they fell into a rhyth on their feet ot better at using the teat-hug to control their fall Milk gushed copiously While they were sliding, the teats sprayed like fire hoses It must have been at least seventy juan to slacken

Other side, Kendra gasped, breathing hard

My arms are dead, Seth complained

We have to hurry

They scooted the ladders over and repeated the process

Kendra tried to pretend she was on a surreal playground, where the kids waded in milk instead of sand and slid down thick,the ladder and landing as lightly as possible She worried that if either action beca an ankle, breaking a bone, or worse

At the first sign that the flow of , they collapsed in exhaustion, not worried about lying in milk because their clothes and hair were already drenched

Both of theulped air desperately Kendra put a hand to her neck My heart is beating like a jackha to puke, that was so foul, complained Seth

I’ arm, raw milk while your face rubs down a cow nipple about a hundred times

More than that

We doused the whole barn, Seth said I’ to the playground, Kendra vowed

What?

Hard to explain

Seth scanned the area under the cow The floor has drains, but I don’t thinkdown

I saw a hose I doubt the coould likeall over the place Kendra sat up and squeezed milk out of her hair That was the best workout I ever had I’m dead

If I did that every day I’d look like Hercules, said Seth

You

The hose was long and had good water pressure, and the drains see the milk away turned out to be the easiest part of the process

Seth had Kendra hose him off, and then returned the favor

Froan in earnest, the cow made no more noise and displayed no more interest in them They called for Grandpa and Lena in the barn, just to be sure, starting with s to shouts As had been their lot all day, their calls went unanswered