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I heard hi both stopped Maybe he remembered the last time we had a confrontation--the one that had ended with ainst the wall a foot off the floor

I yanked on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, quickly spun open the coe, and downed about half a bottle of brain-shake Things had been decent and non-violent between my dad and me for the past several weeks, but that didn’t mean I trusted it to stay that way Besides, I felt like shit and needed the push of awesoave --mostly a fucked up accumulation of the past few days’ emotional knocks Marianne’s death, the holdup, the bullshit with Pietro, and the breakup with Marcus And Ed That right there was daood reason to stay tanked up

"Dear Universe," I ed slippers on Da back my way now" Yeah, I was selfish like that

I sto as fuzzy slippers would allow "Okay, what’s the deal?"

In answer he thrust a newspaper in my face, so closely that I had to take a step back in order to actually see what it was Scowling, I took it froe, with a picture in theacross the front of it--Marianne’s house, I realized

And then I sahat had my dad so riled up There in the botto on the curb: Marcus, and me with my ar to show any sort of guilt or sha else "Yeah? So? A friend of mine was murdered"

That took hier at the picture "Yeah, hy the fuck you bein’ all huggy and shit with that cop? Y’knoho that is, right? He’s the motherfucker who arrested me!"

I set the paper down on the table, crossed my arms over my chest "Uh huh He was"

My dad’s face reddened "What the fuck are you thinking? Why’d you betray me like that?"

I probably shouldn’t have, but I let out a bark of laughter "Betray you? Are you serious? Dad, get a fucking grip"

He jabbed his finger at h I noticed he was careful not to actually touch me "That cocksucker put me in handcuffs! I spent three days in that shithole jail because of hi ot arrested ’cause you were beating the shit out ofhim, and don’t you dare tellelse like that!"

Pain and guilt spas up that tih in the next instant I reht it up

"Look, Dad," I said, loweringis, you and ht noe’re trying to not fuck up quite so often" I shrugged "Besides, if it makes you feel better, he was also the cop who arrested ruer left his face "It just don’t feel right cozying up like that to a cop"

"Dad, Marcus is the one who helped ave me a look of surprise "Why the hell would he do that?" Then his eyes narrowed "Probably trying to get into your pants"

Hmm, so maybe noasn’t the time to tell my dad that Marcus and I had dated Hell, ere broken up noay, so ht I had potential and had gotten a raw deal" I looked back down at the paper "We’re friends now," I said, while hoping it was still true "And I was giving hi because a friend of ours had just been killed" I looked up and met my dad’s eyes "Can’t you understand that?"

"I’ruff "I’ve dealt with , I nodded I kneas talking about Mom She’d been the love of his life, and he would have done absolutely anything for her But she’d also been lectful of me, and when my dad had been forced to make a choice between the two of us, he chose me

My dad blew out his breath and sank down onto the couch "Look, I’ on hiet pissed"

My calm evaporated "Dad, that’s fucked up If you want to spend your whole life being angry at people, fine, but soonna turn around and realize that there’s no one left for you to like, because you’re deter hardass" I shook ust and stomped back to my rooo see if I can find someone who’s pissed me off, just so that I can h and hty and above reproach with my dad, I felt like a bit of a jackass that I was still ht that it had only been one day since Marcus and I had our big fight It also felt odd that I didn’t have the auto," and that it would pass, and that ould of course get back together again That’s how most of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, Randy, had been We’d dated on and off for years, with a thousand breakups in that tis that needed to be talked out or worked through in order to save a relationship or er Our breakups had always ended when one of us had si alone Never any fanfare or celebration or deep talks Si back into the sa with Marcus was different I was different At least I hoped so If I was going to be with Marcus--and, to be honest, I wasn’t certain if that hat I wanted--I wanted it to be a real relationship A partnership Yeah, two people growing up and growing old together That sort of thing I thought it was possible with Marcus but certainly not the ere now

Did thatto call his out? I didn’t want to write him out of my life I do want this to work