Page 36 (1/2)
"I’ life back on track," I said Then I shooka loser"
He plopped down onto the couch and shrugged "I don’t think you’re a loser You don’t rape old ladies or steal froht?"
I wiped the water off the counter "No, but that’s not being a loser That’s being evil"
"I s’pose Hey, grab ed a beer, and handed it to hi for theet anywhere in life" I handed hilanced at ?"
"Nah I’m wiped," I lied "If I drink I’ll fall asleep" I paused "So what do you think?"
He took a swig and then gavea loser"
"Oh" He took another swig "Yeah, I guess that ain "I dunno I think if you’re not hurting anybody, it’s all good"
"Butyourself," I pressed, but I could see that I’d already lost hihed "C’rab a beer, sets hurt We’re not robbing convenience stores for money"
"But some of those pills are stolen from people who need them"
His mouth twisted "Maybe soo froet their money"
I blew out s and pills I come across in my job now Seems like everybody and their s"
"Whaddya mean? How do you see them?"
"Oh, when sos, and then they get destroyed"
He hadn’t et incinerated," I told hi strange telling Randy about the drugs "Anyway, thanks for letting e the subject "My dad’s out of jail and being his usual dickish self"
"You know you can always come stay here" He pushed off the couch and went into the kitchen, returning a halfof pot
He lit a joint and passed it to h I kneouldn’t do anything It tasted like shit, and I instantly regretted doing it as the taste faded and the color in the roo up s
I passed the joint back to him "I don’t want anymore," I said "Toldya, I’m tired It’s been a shitty day"
He eyedhit "You’re not turning into one of those squeaky-clean,break, all right? Would I be here if I was?" And would it ht now’cause you need crash space"
I stood and grabbed oddaed ive a fuck why you stay"
I stared at hiive a fuck? Shouldn’t he? Wasn’t that how normal people acted around each other? They should want the other person to be there for them Did he really want me, or did he simply not want me to be with anyone else?
"Do you love me?" I blurted
An expression of pure bafflement crossed his face "You know I do, baby"
The crazy thing was that I was fairly sure he did, in his own strange way And I loved hie, dependent, who-the-fuck-else-would-want-me kinda way