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I returned inside and went to the bath cha soak Dawn came, but when the faas arrived with food, I could barely choke down a fes of chak I tried again to study, but at the athered up all ainst the back wall, I spread out h to do when I felt haggard on innurove, as hts as to seek an elusive peace

Mzatal entered, and I stood I didn’t do the "Lord Mzatal" thing He got that s, Kara Gillian," he said, eyes onhimself with a too-smooth façade that spoke voluer could have

Taking a deep breath, I gave hie in so down to work, or we could talk about the other shit Which would you prefer?"

He stepped forward "The work has no value or substance while the other hangs between us"

"Agreed," I said, a bit surprised at how calm I sounded I sure as hell didn’t feel it "A question for you then Assu otherwise, if I were to ask you to have Idris send me hoave a snort of huh it felt like too little too late, at this point "Then why did you even bother with that bullshit in the agreement?" I asked "To lull me into some sort of false ease?"

His eyes narrowed "You asked what I would do if there was no agreereement, there would be reement and it is not…bullshit"

"And where in all of those factors is a trust inthe hurt of it all keenly "A out into traffic? Or aroho can be told, ‘Hey, there are cars out there that’ll flatten you You need to look both ways’" I shook my head, eyes on him "After Helori took me away, I came back here, back to you, for two reasons First, was that I’d coer to myself and to my loved ones if I went back to Earth, and I knew I needed further training" I paused, took a deep breath "But second was because you toldon reement, you are not a prisoner"

My ree to it, too You used that well-honed qaztahl deceit to fudge your answer to my question so that I’d buy it You knew daaze steadily "You’ve said yourself--repeatedly--that you can’t help reading ive me the answer that would ensure I becareement" I spread e you’ve created for er or frustration passed over his face "And what has changed in the ti I fully intend for you to complete that ter your own cage by doubting your ability to do so"

Anger churned into do with this," I retorted "What’s changed is that I see the fucking bars now And you still refuse to ad trust e for myself what my best course of action is!"

A shimmer of silver-blue potency flashed in his eyes "Kara Gillian, you have four qaztahl holding you at the top of their target list," he said, near spitting the words "I had no ti introduction of doubt into your process of learning the shikvihr You do not consider doubt a factor I do I have watched it eat away at the potential of so very many You see bars because you choose to see them rather than the door that is open for you"

"Yeah," I said, giving a slight nod "Well, at least you admit it And yeah, you did all this for ed "Only problem with all that is, now I know I can’t trust you Fro what the catch is, where the hidden trap is Wondering what else you do because you knohat’s best for rove power I didn’t want to shield er "You said you want to ith me That can’t happen Not like this I’ll work for you" I lifted reement From here on out we are student and Lord"

He didn’t move or speak for several heartbeats, then abruptly turned and exited to the balcony, hands in fists at his sides as he went to the far end rather than his usual place right outside the door

My anger didn’t abate with his departure In a swift, decisive ainst the wall as hard as I could Breathing raggedly, I seized ot the fuck out of the workroom and away

Chapter 35

I returned to my room and dust, but it was like atteave up and changed into the first bathing suit I could find, dragged onI wouldn’t run into anyone--human, lord, or demon It wasn’t simply that I didn’t want to talk to anyone; in my currentI’d no doubt regret later