Page 36 (1/2)

By a Thread Jennifer Estep 43090K 2023-08-31

"You know, ever since I killed Mab, I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop with you," I said

Bria frowned "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Mab’s dead She can’t hurt us anymore, she can’t hurt you anymore The threat she posed to you is over Done Finished You’re free to live your life however you want to - wherever you want to Don’t tell ht about it, that you haven’t thought about leaving Ashland for good"

Her face tightened with guilt, but I wasn’t finished yet I had to get the words out I had to knohere we stood I had to let her know that she was free fro me

"I kno much Mab hurt you, how horribly she tortured you We both know that none of that probably would have happened if I hadn’t been the Spider and so deter our faot hurt"

Meht flashed in Bria’s eyes, along with the ee, fear, helplessness, pain So

"So every day since then, I’ve been waiting for you to tellan assassin for a sister and that you want to go back to your old Gin- and Spider-free life It wasn’t so bad in Ashland because of all the distractions, all the folks gunning for ed I sa happy being back here made you, and it only made me that much more insecure because of my fear that you’ll someday leave me behind and never look back That was one of the reasons I was such a bitch to Callie that first night in the restaurant I was jealous of her and her relationship with you I was jealous of how much you loved her, when you don’t seem to feel the same way about me"

Bria opened her mouth to protest that it wasn’t true, that she was just fine with etting while the getting was good, but I held up a hand, cutting her off

"It’s okay," I said "I understand how hard this has been for you It’s why Donovan and I didn’t work out Because he couldn’t accept who and what I was and that I was okay with being an assassin, that I’uy"

I drew in a final breath "But I’ve been tiptoeing around you because you’re my sister, and I just can’t do that any to want to kill first and ask questions later It’s just who I am, who Fletcher raised and trained me to be, just like your foster dad raised you to be a cop and follow the law I’m your sister, and I love you, Bria More than you’ll ever know But if you want to stay here in Blue Marsh and pretend you never discovered that I was still alive, I’ll understand It’s your choice, just like being an assassin is ize for what I do any your love or approval"

The words hung in the air between us for a moment, before the hipped them away and carried them out across the ocean But I’d said the words, finally voicedthem back In a way, it was like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders, just as it had been that day when Fletcher had left me in the woods Sure, the old man had dumped oing - no matter who abandoned me or the hardships I had to face as a result of that

Maybe I wouldn’t like what Bria would say Maybe she’d want nothing more to do with me Maybe she’d break my heart with harsh words But now, at least I’d know one way or the other how she felt, and I could get on withafraid

Bria stared atin her eyes one after another like stones skipping across the surface of a still lake Guilt Regret Love Wariness Shame The last emotion surprised me What would Bria have to feel ashamed about? I was the one who killed people, not her

"I do love you," she finally whispered "But you’re right It’s been hard forwhat you are, watching what you do It goes against everything that I know about being a cop and upholding the law I knoasn’t your fault that Mab tortured ry at you because it happened So angry Like you should have killed her before you did, even though you al to do that at her mansion before I was ever kidnapped"

Her words hurt, like a dozen knives twisting into my heart all at once, but they weren’t unexpected In fact, they were far kinder than what I’d thought they’d be, but I still braced o, but it was going to hurt all the sa her in the first place had

This tione I’ve thought about ain But I’m not the sa that’s happened to ht not like what you do, but you’re not going to lose h the lued?"

Bria looked at me "Because we caht he was so hteous, and I realize that it’s the sa you forbut save ain With no question, no hesitation, and nothing asked in return Not one da"

Tears streaked down her cheeks, and her blue eyes were agonizingly bright in her face "The truth is that I’ like hiranted When we found out that Callie was in trouble, you were the first one to do anything about it You immediately stepped up and offered to help her If it wasn’t for you, Callie would be dead now and probably Donovan along with her You saved her not because I asked you to and not even because she was my friend but because you saw someone as in trouble and you realized you could help her Maybe you are an assassin, uys, but you knohat? I don’t give a damn anymore You’re my sister first, and that’s all that matters todown my own cheeks, one after another in a torrent that I couldn’t control Shesheunderstood She actually understood who and what I was and that I would probably never change or give up being the Spider She knew it all, and she was still here with h my heart then, but there was one that drowned out all the others - relief Pure, sweet relief that she wasn’t going to walk out of ood and the bad and whatever else the world threw at us

I reached forward and wrapped my arms around Bria, and she did the same to me We stood like that for severalboth of our bodies Just letting out all the fear and anger and guilt that had crept up on us both and had created this gulf between us But we’d overcorow apart like this again