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This was the saument we’d had so o anywhere, so I decided to try another tactic "Why is feeling so for me so terrible? Why can’t you just accept the fact I used to be an assassin and that I’e Not really"

"Oh no?"

"No," he replied in a firm voice "Think about it We find out what Tobias Dawson’s doing, and what’s the first thing out of yourhim You don’t consider any other options, you don’t consider anything You decided you wanted Dawson dead, and you made it happen"

"I did what needed to be done," I said in a cold voice

"Nothingless And there were no other options, detective Because the police in this town are a joke, and we both know it The only law, the only justice, in Ashland is what people make for themselves"

Donovan flinched at my harsh words, but he didn’t dispute them "I just - I can’t do this any with us, it’s over"

"So you’re leaving town to get away froesture "Yes No I don’t know It’s not all about you Part of it is the department There’s so etting up every single fuckingbattle I’ just like all the other crooked cops in this city Letting you go after Alexis Ja She came after both of us first But Tobias Dawson, that was different If it had been anyone but you, I would have cuffed your ass and dragged you down to headquarters before you got anywhere near Dawson But I didn’t And I regret it More than you’ll ever know I’m sorry, Gin I want you to know that I really am sorry"

"No," I said "I’m the one who’s sorry I’m sorry I wastedtown because I killed Dawson You’re leaving town because you didn’t stop th to Because even now, despite everything, you still want to fuckaway because yourwhat you could have with me"

Donovan flinched, but he didn’t deny the truth of my words It was too late for that Now the detective just looked weary His resignation only h me, hard and cold and bitter as bile I wanted to throw so I wanted to break him Palm my knife, step forward, and slash his throat with it Hurt hiht wound Donovan ords, but nothing else I ht be a former assassin, but I was better than that I’d never killed out of passion, and I wasn’t going to start now The detective wasn’t worth it

"You turned your back on lad I was dead," I said "Because the choice to be with me had been taken out of your hands, and your precious ain, still alive And you were right back to square one That’s the real truth, isn’t it?"

He didn’t say anything And I finally letDonovan Caine wanted h to accept th, not the woe, but I forced myself to ask the final question I wanted an answer to

"Where are you going?"

He shook his head "I think it’s better if you don’t know that, Gin"

I nodded Maybe it was

"I also came here to warn you," Donovan said in a soft tone "Jonah McAllister is out for blood for whoever killed his son He won’t stop until he finds the person responsible One ofinto everyone Jake had a proble you And Mab Monroe doesn’t think you died in the ot a call fro to knoe’d found any more bodies in the rubble So watch your back"

"Why tell me all this?" I said "It’s not like you care Not really"

Not enough to stay That’s what I wanted to say, to screaed "I don’t know I guess I felt I owed it to you The department’s already replacedthan out of any real curiosity

He shrugged again "Soe That’s all I knooetter Just like you"

Donovan stared at old eyes burned into ret Determination For once, I softened my face and let him see what I really felt for hiht it e his mind But then his face hardened, and I knew I’d lost hiht because I never would again

Not now

There was nothing left to say The detective nodded at er

Then he turned and walked out of the Pork Pit, leaving

Chapter Thirty-Five

I gave Violet and Eva their promised milkshakes, then kicked theht ThirtyOn a whiht be Donovan Caine, calling to apologize or - so

"Pork Pit"

"Hello, Gin"

Owen Grayson’s deep voice flooded the line A pleasant sound, but I couldn’t hold back h

"Owen"

"You don’t see from me," he said

"What do you want?" Maybe I should have been nicer, maybe I would have been nicer if not for Donovan Caine

"I just wanted to talk to you, see how you were, since you haven’t returned any of htened around the phone Since the incident at the mine, Owen Grayson had called the Pork Pit and left es, none of which I’d returned

Mainly because I hadn’t knohere things had stood with me and Donovan Caine Well, now I did But I didn’t need Owen Grayson to swoop in and pick up the pieces I could do that all byit for years

"I’ve been busy"