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Of course, I couldn’t tell my friends, "Glenn doesn’t want me to spend time with you," because thatSo when I retreated froht it was my choice I was one of those woet into a relationship I was a Cosmo cautionary tale, in more ways than one

As time went on, a lot of Glenn’s problems becaether It seehted to leave rew so incre If I loved hi, cook the things he liked, enjoy staying home on the weekends the way he did If I loved him, I would keep h it was against hospital policy I would ignore the "accidents" I see over his feet after an arguainst the coffee table I would pass up the big white wedding debacle and get married on a beach in the Caribbean, which is e did, one not-so-special weekend when I ca the plane tickets I was the proverbial frog in the pot of slowly boiling water, dying by degrees

And then, there were the family "issues" I was an only child, a late-in-life miracle for htly unorthodox relationship, as ue than a child I’d been disappointed that Glenn wasn’t interested in spending time with them My parents didn’t like hi interrogated for the entire visit, and ht before ere supposed to go to family events, so that either ould skip theht, sparking tension and unco easier to tellWhile he was ruo see my parents so often anyway

I tried to tell myself it would take tinosed with advanced pancreatic cancer about two years after our wedding and passed aithin sixin his sleep a year later I would always regretthose last Christmases and birthdays with them And while I couldn’t blame Glenn for my failure to protectme to bounce back from their deaths as if they were just an inconvenience

At first, I stayed because I was afraid to ade was such a led any love I’d felt for him with his insecurities and his manipulations But I was a successful doctor, on my way up the ladder at a es that lasted less than one presidential term were not supposed to happen to women like me I was ashamed and e regret When Glenn started talking about having children of our own, instead of going all war a family, I panicked I knew I couldn’t be tied to him in that way for the rest of one andacross the country I didn’t have enough evidence for a restraining order, so I elected just to disappear I used computers at the public library to find a new job at a hospital in Tampa and used as left of my inheritance to set up an apartment there I filed divorce papers and ht depart I useds a post-office box on bills and accounts I hoped Glenn would just et bored, find someone else

As usual, I’d underestimated him He hacked into ed the address or password I had to change my credit-card infored to buy some nice Jet Skis, a flat-screen TV, and a bass boat on my dime When I complained to police in our hometown, he told them it was sih it in family court With me in another state, they were all too happy to let me fend for et I’din contact with old friends They’d been so convinced by my "perfectly happy wife" act that most of the (read: ill-inforave Glenn e too quickly and should give hih the lobby of ht into my new apartment and broke my jaw

I didn’t know that it was possible to hurt that badly I could barely crawl to a sitting position as Glenn ranted and raved over me

After Glenn let me kno much I had hurt him, he told me to wait in the bedroom while he went to fix himself a drink He was so convinced that I would do it, he just walked out of the rooht next to a phone, and never even considered that I would use it to call for help That chapped my butt much later, when I was in my analyze every moment so I can better blan He was so sure I would just cower on the carpet It never occurred to him to take the phone with him

It wasn’t the first "accident" I’d had around Glenn, but it was the first that I couldn’t treat myself afterward I called 911, and Glenn--to my shock--stuck around The paramedics--to Glenn’s shock--didn’t accept his assertion that a fully dressed wo out of the shower, so he was arrested on assault charges I was a patient inlooks from my coworkers as I recovered froers, and internal injuries

I kneould happen when he was released I’d had hiivable When I went to file a restraining order, I found that he had called soiven him some sob story to convince hiard for his friend’s bail collateral And when I tried to file the restraining order, I found out that Glenn had been fired from the hospital months before and moved out of our apartment Other than his birthdate, I had no information hich to file the order, which would make it difficult to serve and enforce If I wanted to keep this new life I’d started and continue the divorce proceedings, I would have to stay put Although I couldn’t find a trace of where Glenn ht have disappeared to, he would know exactly where I was And he could come back anytime he wanted And even if I moved somewhere new and started over, if I wanted to practice medicine, it would be impossible to hide Hospitals and private practices expected their doctors to post profiles on their Web sites, appear in ads, and have so to make myself invisible wouldaway fro credence to Glenn’s claims of my mental instability and "cruelty" But it had to be done

I’d learned ainst doctors’ orders and ran I sold everything I had, which wasn’tRussian roulette with ht fake IDs and a junker car and drove in jagged lines across the country, until anyone Glenn used to findI figured Alaska was as far as I could go without having to switch citizenships

Most people try to use abandone Glenn had used it as a reason to stall the divorce decree, stating that I should be present for the decision He used the fact that I couldn’t return home to keep me tied to hi forto live this strange, untethered half life? Would I be an eighty-year-old wo alley in Saskatoon, dreading that day eriatric ex wobbled up to ain? Would I ever have a fae without a child At this point in my life, a child, particularly Glenn’s child, would be a liability, a beautiful burden I couldn’t protect orone of my own put a cold, insistent pressure on my heart I’d delivered soa baby would h to let hi hihty to do that, it was going to be disappointing on several levels