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Chapter 1

How do you say good-bye to a friend?

How do you say sorry I wasn’t there for you, that I wasn’t strong enough, that I should have shot the bastard when I first had the chance? How can you say those things when he’s no longer around to hear the words?

And how can you get over the grief when his body is little one from this life?

You couldn’t I couldn’t

So I just stood there on the edge of the precipice, surrounded by the dark beauty of the Grampian Mountains and buffeted by a wind that seemed to echo ild hoofbeats

These weren’t the mountains Kade had been born in, but they were the ones that he had chosen in death His ashes had been scattered here three o, the funeral attended by his mares, his children, and his coworkers from the Directorate

By everyone except ht in a battle ofbetween this world and the next, torn between the desire to die and the reluctance to siive up

In the end I’d chosen life over death, but it wasn’t my tho’d pulled me from the brink, nor was it the vampire who held my heart My savior had coht violet eyes that saw too much

But there’d been no savior for Kade

There should have been, but I’d failed hithe wind rock o, to fall forward into the chasm that stretched out below me To smash my body on the rocks and let my spirit roam across this vast wildness To be free, as my friend was now free

Because with Kade dead, my soul mate - Kye - dead, and most of my dreams little hty enticing option

But there were people in my life who deserved better And Kade would certainly want more from me than that

Tears tracked downin the freshness of the early- for the one scent that would never, ever, be there again

He was gone forever I could accept that But I could never escape the guilt of it

I bent and picked up the bottle of wine I’d brought with- one of his favorites, notthe cork, I took a drink, then raised the bottle to the dawn skies, the tears pouring down iveness, my friend" My voice was barely audible, but it seemed to echo across the mountains "Andmares in the fertile meadows of afterlife"

With that, I poured out the wine, letting it stream away on the wind When the bottle was e it fall until the shadows claiainst the rocks Perhaps the ghostly fingers of a bay-coloredbefore it could

I took another deep, shuddering breath, then swiped at the tears on ain on the other side And I hope I’m a smarter friend then than I am now"

The sun chose that olden fingers of light across the shadows and al the chill fron from Kade, then it was appreciated

I dried the last of my tears, blew a kiss to the sunrise, then turned and walked back down the path toon the front seat along withWhich meant there’d been a call for e

I dropped into the driver’s seat and reached for the phone, then hesitated I kneithout looking that the call would be fro me when I least expected or wanted it Besides, everyone else in ood-byes, and they wouldn’t have interruptedless than a disaster And if it was a disaster, there were better ways to contacta phone Hell, Quinn could have just found er since Kye’s death

Kye

The thought of hi I closed er and the pain that always rose at the ly And now I had to live with the consequences

Even if part of lanced down at the phone again It was tenore Jack’s call, but I couldn’t I’d chosen to live - and whether I liked it or not, the Directorate was a part of my life

I flicked a switch on the phone and brought up the call data It was definitely Jack I’d told hio back to work, but now that the time was here, I wasn’t so sure

Truth be told, I didn’t want to pick up a gun again I didn’t want to have to shoot anybody again - especially after what had happened with Kade and Kye I feared the hesitation that had led to Kade’s death But most of all, I feared that I wouldn’t hesitate That I’d beco killer that Jack wanted me to be, simply because of the fear that I’d lose so tiuardian When I’d finally becoainst his plans and my own nature I didn’t want to be the killer my brother was As much as I loved him - as much as I didn’t want to live without him - Rhoan’s occasional ruthlessness scared the hell out of me

Kade had once said that everyone hesitates, but he’d been wrong My brother never did, and neither did the other guardians Just me

And that hesitation had cost ed between the boulders of fate, my own nature, and fear As much as I wanted to walk away froiven toraes tome were al, I wouldn’t gain the ability to take onI was stuck with the alternate shape of a godda, still changing No one was sure where it would stop, and until it all settled down, I was stuck with the choice of the Directorate or the military

And it was always better to stick to the devil you knew

I drew in a shuddering breath, then hit the phone’s call button Jack answered second ring

"You wanted me, boss?"

"Yeah, I did" He hesitated "Are you okay? You still sound tired"

"I’m fine" But I rubbed a hand across iven me the perfect out, and we both knew it But I really did have to get on with er so sure about

"What’s happening?"

"We’ve got what looks like a ritual killing If you’re feeling up to it, I’d like you to go over there and see if there’s a soul hanging about"

"Sure Send ht there" I hesitated "It’ll take h I’m up at the Grampians"