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"Honey, I never stopped fighting" He slid his katana into a slot on the quad "So here’s the plan We’re going to find your friends, and then you kids are going to help me search every inch of that plane If there’s any chance that even some of McReady’s research survived the crash, then I need to secure it and get it into the hands of the rest of the research team"

"Where are they?"

"Close," said Joe "McReady only took a seeks are split between a new lab in North Carolina and one they set up in a military base out here They had to reclaim the base froreat shape It hat they called a ‘hardened’ facility,that the EMPs didn’t knock out the power Once they reclaieek squad were able to repurpose the base froical research facility"

"A laboratory?" asked Lilah "Out here?"

"Yup," said Joe "Really well-hidden but closer than you’d think McReady named it Sanctuary"

And he told Lilah where it was

59

AS THE SOUND OF THE RANGER’S QUAD FADED, SISTER AMY ROLLED OUT fros she wanted to tell Saint John Needed to tell hianized defenses

As she ran through the woods she could not keep the smile off her face

60

BROTHER PETER KNELT IN THE DIRT BEFORE SAINT JOHN HE RESTED HIS weight on his fists, his head was bowed, and he waited for the storm of the saint’s wrath to tear the world apart

But there was silence

After al minutes, Brother Peter raised his head and looked at the man who he worshipped more than the Lord Thanatos His friend, his mentor, and in every way that mattered, his father

Saint John stood there, hands clasped behind his back, head tilted to one side as he watched e burned across the saint’s face There were no tears

There was nothing

"Honored One?" ventured Brother Peter "Did you hear what I--?"

Saint John spoke, his quiet voice overriding the younger man’s

"When the world burned down," he said, "I was alone For many months before that, I was in a hospital, in a psychiatric ward--did you know that?" He did not wait for an answer "They thought I was sickod of darkness spoke to me inside my head There are people with such sickness, you know; before the Fall and since Some of them have joined us Others have joined the way-station monks After all, God speaks in so many different ways, and in the end he speaks to everyone"

"Even heretics?"

"Even theh the heretics hear the voice of God and refuse to listen Others--the lost ones--hear the voice and don’t, or can’t, recognize it for what it is They are to be pitied When we usher theentler touch of the knife"

The saint began walking, and Brother Peter rose and fell into step beside him

"After the Fall, I wandered the streets of row The Gray People never touched me Not once"

"A miracle, Honored One"

"Yes It was proof, you see It showed others that I was indeed the first saint of this church" They walked through the forest as casually as if the day had not been filled with screa a point of philosophy on a lovely afternoon "And then I found Mother Rose She wasmerely ‘Rose’ then A woman who had lost herself even before the world fell down around her I rescued her fro of the darkness as an invitation to hurt and humiliate those weaker than themselves"

"I remember," said Brother Peter faintly

"I know you do And you remember the years that followed, as Rose accepted the darkness into her heart and became elevated as the mother of all"

"Yes" Brother Peter could not keep the bitterness out of his voice

"Those were good days You were so young and yet so bright So eager to learn the ways of the blade and the purity that is the darkness Pride is a sin, but I will accept whatever rebuke is due me for the pride I felt in you Then and now You have been the rock on which I built the Night Church" They walked a few paces "You, Peter Not her"

Brother Peter bowed his head in humility

"Tell me," said Saint John, "when you look inside your head and your heartat those times when you are in the depths of prayer and meditationwhat does paradise look like?"

"Look like?" asked Peter

"Yes If you were to paint a picture of aits for us--what you want to be on the other side of the doorhat you truly believe is beyond this world--what is that picture? Describe it to me"

They walked for half a dozen paces before Peter said, "It is the darkness"

"And--?"

"The darkness is all The darkness is enough The darkness is everything"

Saint John nodded "That is what I see That is what I believe is there"

"But I--"

"And when you think about this world--when you iine what this planet will be when the last of the heretics is gone, and when the last of us communes with our own blades so that our darkness joins with eternity--tell me, Brother Peter, what does this world look like?"

They were at the edge of the forest now, and they looked out on the vast desert that stretched away before the horizon Brother Peter nodded toward the endless sand "That is what I see, Honored One"

"The desert?"

"The peacefulness Ele Restored to the perfection of nature"

"And all that man has made and built?"

"It will turn to dust This world will heal of the infection that is ain"

They stood there for many minutes as they each considered this

"Do you know," asked Saint John at length, "that I always knew this day was co?"

Brother Peter turned and stared at him

"Mother Rose," said the saint "It was inevitable that she would betray me It was ordained that it happen Like in the Christian story of Jesus and Judas The betrayal was always part of the plan Judas was a good and righteous man for most of his life, but in a moment of weakness, or perhaps pride, he stepped off the path"