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She winced "Don’t say that, Carht," he said quickly, taking another drink fro this shit to you I justI’lad you’re here You didn’t have to coood to see you"

His words lacked the eood to see you, too I’ve lanced at Haven "I’ve ood, tesoro"

Her heart started acting erratically, a fluttering in her stomach as the word tesoro escaped his lips He tried to run his hand through his hair but cringed, a white bandage covering it "What happened to your hand?"

He shoved it back in his pocket as if to hide the injury "Corrado shot me"

"He shot you? Why?"

"You’d have to ask hi back "That’s where the scar on my face came frohsome Irish fucker"

Haven stared at him as that sank in "That’s scary"

"That’s life," he said, shrugging as if it weren’t a big deal "That’s my life now, anyway Thank God it’s not yours"

Silence lingered between the everywhere but at her She could see the sadness, the yearning for so he felt he couldn’t have It uy nao," she blurted out

Car at her words Tension rolled froo out with him?"

"Once, but it could never work"

"Why’s that?"

"Because he could never know me," she said quietly "I had friends, but they didn’t know me, either No one did They don’t knohere I cah They only know the cover story, the girl I pretend to bethe girl everyone wants irl I still sometimes wish I could be They think the world I came from only exists in movies"

"That’s the point," he said "You can be whoever you want to be"

She sighed "Don’t you get it, Carirl I alill be, and believe it or not, I like her I like being her I like me"

"I like you, too," he said, "but you deserve more than this life, Haven"

"Well, so do you"

He groaned "I chose this shit"

"Then why couldn’t I?" she asked "Why did you choose forto let you throw everything away for someone like me You’re better than my kind"

Haven shook her head with disbelief "Your kind? How can you say that? You, the boy who told ain that I’d overcome o out there and explore my options I did that, Carmine, and I loved it, but I was lonely Do you knohat it’s like to stand in a crowded room and still feel like you’re the only one there? Do you? Because that was how it felt toyou settled for, Haven"

"You think being with you would be settling? I’ll always be a part of your world I’ll always have so sure I don’t break ot broken into and I couldn’t even call the police, I had to call your uncle! How do I explain that to people? It’s not nor out there in the world alone, spending , Carmine Does it even hed exasperatedly, taking another drink "Of course it matters"

"Then why’d you do it?"

He stared at her, his eyes boring into hers intensely "What do you do when the thing you want ertips?"

The question caught Haven off guard "What?"

"You wrote that in your journal," he said "I couldn’t hold you back"

A bitter laugh of disbelief erupted fro ive up, Car All I ever wanted was someone to see me, to love me, to understand me I didn’t have to hide from you; I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t You know me, the person no one else will ever knoanted to be with you, I thought we’d be together, and then you left! You walked out on me as I slept!"

Haven shook as all of the hurt ca she had kept bottled in for the past eighteen er

"I wanted as best for you," he said "I wanted you to have a chance"

"A chance?" she asked "You asked ave it to you, and I don’t regret that for a second I’ll never regret it If you didn’t love , but--"

"Of course I loved you!" His eyes filled with tears "I didn’t want to get you killed!"