Page 19 (1/2)
I stare at the flae with tips of cobalt blue in the fireplace in Christian&039;s apart out of the fire and the blanket draped around ly cold
I&039;m aware of hushed voices, round, a distant buzz I don&039;t hear the words All I can hear, all I can focus on, is the soft hiss of the gas frohts turn to the houseyesterday and the huge fireplaces - real fireplaces for burning wood I&039;d like to make love with Christian in front of a real fire I&039;d like to make love with Christian in front of this fire Yes, that would be fun No doubt, he&039;d think of some way to make it memorable like all the times we&039;ve made love I snort wryly toYes, those were pretty memorable, too Where is he?
The flabeauty They are bewitching
Anastasia, you&039;ve bewitched me
He said that the first time he slept with me in my bed Oh no
I wrap my arms around myself, and the world falls away fro e
"Ana Here," Mrs Jones gently coaxesuish She hands ratefully, the rattle betrayinghands
"Thank you," I whisper, e lump in er-than-large U-shaped couch, holding hands with Grace They gaze at me, pain and anxiety etched on their lovely faces Grace looks older -
a mother worried for her son I blink dispassionately at the s, just blankness and the growing eaze at Elliot, Jose, and Ethan, who stand around the breakfast bar, all serious faces, talking quietly
Discussing so in soft subdued voices Behind them, Mrs Jones busies herself in the kitchen
Kate is in the TV roo the local news I hear the faint squawk froain - cHristian grey- his beautiful face on TV
Idly, it occurs to me that I&039;ve never seen so many people in this room, yet they are still dwarfed by its sheer size Little islands of lost, anxious people inhere?
So to the authorities who are drip-feeding us inforless The fact is - he&039;s n, no word from him The search has been called off - this much I do know
It&039;s just too dark And we don&039;t knohere he is He could be hurt, hungry, or worse No!
I offer another silent prayer to God Please let Christian be okay Please let Christian be okay I repeat it over and over into in o there There is hope
"You&039;re my lifeline"
Christian&039;s words come back to haunt me Yes, there is always hope I h ratification Carpe diem, Ana"
Why didn&039;t I seize the day?
"I&039; this because I&039;ve finally met someone I want to spend the rest of my life with"
I close ently Please, let the rest of his life not be this short Please, please We haven&039;t had enough time we need more time We&039;ve done so much in the last feeeks, come so far It can&039;t end All our tender moments: the lipstick, when he made love to me for the first ti hi him
"I am just the same, Ana I love you and I need you Touchwithout hiht eclipsed No, no, no my poor Christian
"This is me, Ana All of me and I&039;m all yours What do I have to do to make you realize that? To et you That I love you"
And I you,into the fire once h ; his suave, sophisticated, hot-as-hell look at thehere in the apart round the room; his quiet, anxious hope yesterday at the house - that stunning view
"I will lay my world at your feet, Anastasia I want you, body and soul, forever"
Oh, please, let hione He is the center of my universe
An involuntary sob escapes my throat, and I clutch
Jose is suddenly at my side, or has he been there a while? I have no idea
"Do you want to call your ently
No! I shake my head and clutch Jose&039;s hand I cannot speak, I knoill dissolve if I do, but the warentle squeeze of his hand offers ht of my mother Should I call her? No I couldn&039;t deal with her reaction Maybe Ray, he wouldn&039;t get eets emotional, not even when the Mariners lose
Grace rises to join the boys, distracting est she&039;s sat still Mia corabs my other hand
"He will come back," she says, her voice initially deter on the last word Her eyes are wide and red-rimmed, her face pale and pinched froaze up at Ethan, who is watching Mia and Elliot, who has his arlance at the clock It&039;s after eleven, heading towardemyself for the worst I closeboth Mia and Jose&039;s hands
Opening theain, I stare into the flames once more I can see his shy slimpse of the real Christian, my real Christian He is so od, Dom - and at the same time - such a boy with his toys I so no no
ht now My shaway the lipstick , Anastasia I&039;m a husk of a man I don&039;t have a heart"
The lump in my throat expands Oh, Christian, you do, you do have a heart, and it&039;s h he&039;s so complex and difficult, I love him I will always love him There will never be anyone else Ever
I re up raphs I found this nificance now There&039;s just hi hio to church I&039;ll do anything Oh, if I get him back, I shall seize the day His voice echoes around aze deeper into the fire, the flahtly Then Grace shrieks, and everything goes into slow motion
"Christian!"
I turn reat roo somewhere behind me, and there in the entrance stands a dismayed Christian
He&039;s dressed in just his shirtsleeves and suit pants, and he&039;s holding his navy jacket, shoes, and socks He looks tired, dirty, and utterly beautiful
Holy fuck Christian He&039;s alive I gaze nu or if he&039;s really here
His expression is one of utter bewilderment He deposits his jacket and shoes on the floor in time to catch Grace, who throws her arms around his neck and kisses hiazes down at her, coht I&039;d never see you again," Grace whispers, voicing our collective fear
"Mom, I&039;m here" I hear the consternation in his voice
"I died a thousand deaths today," she whispers, her voice barely audible, echoing er able to hold back her tears Christian frowns, horrified or mortified - I don&039;t knohich - then after a beat, envelops her in a huge hug, holding her close
"Oh, Christian," she chokes, wrapping her ar into his neck -
all self-restraint forgotten - and Christian doesn&039;t balk He just holds her, rocking to and fro, co tears pool in my eyes Carrick hollers from the hallway
"He&039;s alive! Shit - you&039;re here!" He appears fro his cell phone, and embraces both of them, his eyes closed in sweet relief
"Dad?"
Mia squeals soible fro her parents, hugging all of them, too
Finally the tears start to cascade down my cheeks He&039;s here, he&039;s fine But I cannothis eyes and clapping Christian on the shoulder
Mia releases them and Grace steps back
"Sorry," she mumbles
"Hey, Mom - it&039;s okay," Christian says, consternation still evident on his face
"Where were you? What happened?" Grace cries and puts her head in her hands
"Moain and kisses the top of her head "I&039;ood It&039;s just taken et back fro committee?" He looks up and scans the roolances briefly at Jose, who lets go of ht of hi me spent, exhausted, and completely elated Yet my tears don&039;t stop Christian turns his attention back to his ?" Christian says reassuringly She places her hands on either side of his face
"Christian, you&039;ve been ht plan - you never made it to Seattle Why didn&039;t you contact us?"
Christian&039;s eyebrows shoot up in surprise "I didn&039;t think it would take this long"
"Why didn&039;t you call?"
"No power in my cell"
"You didn&039;t stop call collect?"
"Mo story"
"Oh, Christian! Don&039;t you ever do that to ain! Do you understand?" she half shouts at him
"Yes, Mos her onceMia, who slaps him hard on the chest
"You had us so worried!" she blurts out, and she, too, is in tears
"I&039;m here now, for heaven&039;s sake," Christian mutters
As Elliot comes forward, Christian relinquishes Mia to Carrick, who already has one arhter Elliot hugs Christian briefly, much to Christian&039;s surprise, and slaps him hard on the back
"Great to see you" Elliot says loudly, if a little gruffly, trying to hide his emotion
As the tears streareat room is bathed in it - unconditional love He has it in spades; he&039;s just never accepted it before, and even now he&039;s at a total loss
Look, Christian, all these people love you! Perhaps now you&039;ll start believing it
Kate is standing behind ently strokes my hair
"He&039;s really here, Ana," sheto say hi to irl now," Christian tells his parents Both nod, sray eyes bright though weary and still beger to my feet and bolt into his open arms
"Christian!" I sob
"Hush," he says and holdsdeeply I raise my tear-stained face to his, and he kisses me far too briefly
"Hi," he murmurs
"Hi," I whisper back, the lu
"Miss rins "I can tell" And with a gentle touch of his hand, he wipes away the tears that refuse to stop running down ht - " I choke
"I can see Hush I&039;m here I&039;ain
"Are you okay?" I ask, releasing hi his chest, his arms, his waist - oh, the feel of this warers - reassuresin front of me He&039;s back He doesn&039;t so ardsanywhere"
"Oh, thank God," I clasp histo drink?"
"Yes"
I step back to fetch hio He tucks me under his arm and extends a hand to Jose
"Mr Grey," says Jose evenly
Christian snorts "Christian, please," he says
"Christian, welco me stay"
"No problem" Christian narrows his eyes, but he&039;s distracted by Mrs Jones, who is suddenly at his side It only occurs to me now that she&039;s not her usual smart self I hadn&039;t noticed it before Her hair is loose, and she&039;s in soft gray leggings and a large gray sweat-shirt that dwarfs her with WSU Cougars eer
"Can I get you so, Mr Grey?" She wipes her eyes with a tissue
Christian smiles fondly at her "A beer, please, Gail - Budvar - and a bite to eat"
"I&039;ll fetch it," Ifor htening his arm around me
The rest of his family close in, and Ethan and Kate join us He shakes Ethan&039;s hand and gives Kate a quick peck on the cheek Mrs Jones returns with a bottle of beer and a glass
He takes the bottle but shakes his head at the glass She smiles and returns to the kitchen
"Surprised you don&039;t want soer," mutters Elliot "So what the fuck happened to you? First I knehen Dad called "
"Elliot!" Grace scolds
"Helicopter," Christian growls, correcting Elliot, who grins, and I suspect this is a family joke
"Let&039;s sit and I&039;ll tell you" Christian pulls me over to the couch, and everyone sits down, all eyes on Christian He takes a long draft of his beer He spies Taylor hovering at the entrance and nods Taylor nods back
"Your daughter?"