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I cannot contain apes at me open-rin as I gaze longingly up into Christian&039;s wide, tortured eyes

His soft sweet confession calls toabsolution; his three small words are my manna from heaven Tears prick my eyes once more Yes, you do I know you do

It&039;s such a liberating realization as if a crushing millstone has been tossed aside This beautiful, fucked-up , solitary, mysterious - possesses all these traits, but he&039;s also fragile and alienated and full of self-loathing My heart swells with joy but also pain for his suffering And I know in this h for both of us I hope it&039;s big enough for both of us

I reach up to clasp his dear, dear, handso all the love I feel into this one sweet connection I want to devour hiroans and encirclesme as if I am the air he needs to breathe

"Oh, Ana," he whispers hoarsely, "I want you, but not here"

"Yes," I murmur fervently into his mouth

He switches off the shower and takesa towel, he wraps it around his waist, then takes a sently dry my hair When he&039;s satisfied, he swathes the towel around ea veil He&039;s standing behind ht blue, and it gives me an idea

"Can I reciprocate?" I ask

He nods, though his brow creases I reach for another towel from the plethora of fluffy towels stacked beside the vanity, and standing before him on tiptoe, I start to dry his hair

He bends forward, li atti time," he murmurs, but then frowns "In fact I don&039;t think anyone&039;s ever dried my hair"

"Surely Grace did? Dried your hair when you were young?"

He shakes his head, haress

"No She respected h it was painful for her I was very self-sufficient as a child," he says quietly

I feel a swift kick in the ribs as I think of a s after hily sad But I don&039;t wantintiently tease him

"That you are, Miss Steele Or oes without saying, Mr Grey," I respond tartly

I finish with his hair, reach for another small towel, and ain in thelook pro?"

After a ently, I run the soft cloth down his left ar up, I check his expression in theinto mine

I lean forward and kiss his bicep, and his lips part infinitesi kisses around his bicep, and a small smile plays on his lips

Carefully, I wipe his back beneath the faint lipstick line, which is still visible I hadn&039;t gotten round to washing his back

"Whole back," he says quietly, "with the towel" He takes a sharp breath and screws his eyes closed as I briskly dry him, careful to touch him only with the towel

He has such an attractive back - broad, sculptured shoulders, all the small muscles clearly defined He really looks after hiht is nore thee to kiss each and every one When I finish he exhales, and I lean forward and reward hi my arms around him, I dry his stomach Our eyes meet once more in the mirror, his expression amused but wary, too

"Hold this" I hand hiives ia? Youyour hands," I add

His face darkens, but I ignore his reaction and putat us both in the mirror - his beauty, his nakedness, and me with my covered hair - we look al

I reach for his hand, which he willingly entrusts tothe towel slowly, aardly across his body Once, twice - then again

He&039;s coid with tension, except for his eyes, which follow my hand clasped around his

My subconscious looks on with approval, her nor, and I am the supreme puppet master His anxiety ripples off his back in waves, but he h his eyes are darker,their secrets o? Do I want to confront his demons?

"I think you&039;re dry now," I whisper as I drop ray depths of his eyes in theis accelerated, lips parted

"I need you, Anastasia," he whispers

"I need you, too" And as I say the words, I a without Christian, ever

"Let me love you," he says hoarsely

"Yes," I answer, and turning, he haulsers up and downin our postcoital bliss, replete We lie together,his tender touch I know that right now he needs to touch me I am a balm for him, a source of solace, and how could I deny him that? I feel exactly the saentle," I murmur

"Hrin "You weren&039;t particularly the first time we um, did this"

"No?" He smirks "When, I robbed you of your virtue"

"I don&039;t think you robbed htily - Jeez, I&039;m not a helpless maiden

"I think ly I wanted you, too, and if I remember correctly, I rather enjoyedmy lip

"So did I if I recall, Miss Steele We aim to please," he drawls and his face softens, serious "And it means you&039;re azes at me

"Yes, I a"

"Go ahead"

"Your biological father do you knoho he was?" This thought has been bugging me His brow creases, and then he shakes his head "I have no idea Wasn&039;t the savage as her piood"

"How do you know?"

"So Carrick said toHe sry for infor his head "The pimp discovered the crack whore&039;s body and phoned it in to the authorities Took hih He shut the door when he left left me with her her body" His eyes cloud at the memory

I inhale sharply Poor baby boy - the horror is too grim to contemplate

"Police interviewed hi to do with hi like me"

"Do you remember what he did look like?"

"Anastasia, this isn&039;t a part of my life I revisit very often Yes, I reet hi er "Can we talk about so else?"

"I&039;m sorry I didn&039;t mean to upset you"

He shakes his head "It&039;s old news, Ana Not so I want to think about"

"So what&039;s this surprise, then?" I need to change the subject before he goes all Fifty on htens i out for so"

"Of course"

I rins at me with his boyish, carefree, I&039;m-only-twenty-seven smile, andclose to his heart, I can tell He swats me playfully on ood I hope Taylor&039;s packed some for you"

He rises and pulls on his boxer briefs Oh I could sit here all day, watching hi as she ogles froue

"Up," he scolds, bossy as ever I gaze at hi the view"

He rolls his eyes at me

As we dress, I notice that we move with the synchronization of two people who know each other well, each watchful and acutely aware of the other, exchanging the occasional shy smile and sweet touch And it dawns on me that this is just as new for him as it is for me "Dry your hair," Christian orders once we&039;re dressed

"Do as ever" I smirk at him, and he leans down to kiss e, baby I don&039;t want you sick"

I roll my eyes at him, and his mouth twists in amusement

"My pallad to hear it, Mr Grey I was beginning to think you were losing your edge,"

I retort

"I could easily demonstrate that is not the case, should you so wish" Christian drags a large, crea and drapes it artfully over his shoulders

With his white T-shirt and jeans, his artfully rumpled hair, and now this, he looks as if he&039;s stepped out of the pages of a high-end glossy ood And I don&039;t know if it&039;s the moe that he loves er fills me with dread This is my Fifty Shades; this is the way he is

As I reach for the hairdryer, a tangible ray of hope blossonize each other&039;s needs and accoaze atthe pale blue shirt that Taylor bought and had packed for me My hair is a mess,Christian&039;s searing kisses, and I can&039;t help a small smile as I stare Yes, I do, he said

"Where are we going exactly?" I ask as ait in the lobby for the parking valet

Christian taps the side of his nose and winks atto contain his glee Frankly, it&039;s very un-Fifty

He was like this ent gliding - perhaps that&039;s e&039;re doing I beam back at him He stares down his nose at rin

Leaning down, he kisses ently

"Do you have any idea how happy you make me feel?" he murmurs

"Yes I know exactly Because you do the same for me"

The valet zoorin Jeez, everyone is so happy today

"Great car, sir," he ives hie tip

I frown at hih the traffic, Christian is deep in thought A young woman&039;s voice comes over the loudspeakers; it has a beautiful, rich, mellow timbre, and I lose myself in her sad, soulful voice

"I need to ," he says absent

Oh, why? I&039; about like a five-year-old

"Sure," I ri lot of large car dealership, stops the car, and turns to face et you a new car," he says I gape at him

Now? On a Sunday? What the hell? And this is a Saab dealership

"Not an Audi?" is, stupidly, the only thing I can think of to say, and bless him, he actually flushes

Holy cow - Christian, eht like so

Oh, please This is too valuable an opportunity not to tease him I smirk "A Saab?"

"Yeah A 9-3 Con cars?"

"The Germans and the Swedes make the safest cars in the world, Anastasia"

Do they? "I thought you&039;d already ordered ivessracefully to raduation present," he says softly and holds his hand out for me

"Christian, you really don&039;t have to do this"

"Yes, I do Please Come" His tone says he&039;s not to be trifled with

I resign myself to my fate A Saab? Do I want a Saab? I quite like the Audi Submissive Special It was very nifty

Of course, now it&039;s under a ton of white paint I shudder And she&039;s still out there

I take Christian&039;s hand, and ander into the showroom

Troy Turniansky, the salesman, is all over Fifty like a cheap suit He can smell a sale

Weirdly his accent sounds mid-Atlantic, maybe British? It&039;s difficult to tell

"A Saab, sir? Pre-owned?" He rubs his hands with glee

"New" Christian&039;s lips set into a hard line

New!

"Did you have a model in mind, sir?" And he&039;s smarmy, too

"9-3 20T Sport Sedan"

"An excellent choice, sir"

"What color, Anastasia?" Christian inclines his head

"Er black?" I shrug "You really don&039;t need to do this"

He frowns "Black&039;s not easily seen at night"

Oh, for heaven&039;s sake I resist the temptation to roll my eyes "You have a black car"

He scowls at

Christian

"What color do you want me to have?" I ask as if he&039;s a sht is unwelco at once

"Silver or white"

"Silver, then You know I&039;ll take the Audi," I add, chastened bya sale "Perhaps you&039;d like the convertible,his hands with enthusiasust, oddess tackles her to the floor Convertible? Drool!

Christian frowns and peers atan eyebrow

I flush It&039;s like he has a direct hotline to oddess, which of course, he has It&039;s most inconvenient at times I stare down at my hands

Christian turns to Troy "What are the safety stats on the convertible?"

Troy, sensing Christian&039;s vulnerability, heads in for the kill, reeling off all manner of statistics

Of course, Christian wants ion with him, and like the zealot he is, he listens intently to Troy&039;s well-honed patter Fifty really does care

Yes I do I re, and a h ift to wooofily at hilances down at me, he&039;s a h on, I&039;d like some, Miss Steele," he murmurs as Troy heads off to his coh on you, Mr Grey"

"Really? Well you certainly look intoxicated" He kissesthe car That was easier than last time"

"Well, it&039;s not an Audi A3"

He smirks "That&039;s not the car for you"

"I liked it"

"Sir, the 9-3? I&039;ve located one at our Beverly Hills dealership We can have it here for you in a couple of days" Troy gloith triue?"

"Yes, sir"

"Excellent" Christian produces his credit card, or is it Taylor&039;s? The thought is unnerving I wonder how Taylor is, and if he&039;s located Leila in the apartment I rub my forehead

Yes, there&039;s all of Christian&039;s baggage, too

"If you&039;ll colances at the name on the card - "Grey"

Christian opens er seat

"Thank you," I say when he&039;s seated beside me

He smiles

"You&039;re ain as Christian starts the engine

"Who&039;s this?" I ask

"Eva Cassidy"

"She has a lovely voice"

"She does, she did"

"Oh"

"She died young"

"Oh"

"Are you hungry? You didn&039;t finish all your breakfast" He glances quickly at me, disapproval outlined on his face

Uh-oh "Yes"

"Lunch first, then"

Christian drives toward the waterfront then heads north along the Alaskan Way It&039;s another beautiful day in Seattle It&039;s been uncharacteristically fine for the last feeeks, I muse

Christian looks happy and relaxed as we sit back listening to Eva Cassidy&039;s sweet, soulful voice and cruise down the highway Have I ever felt this comfortable in his company before? I don&039;t know

I am less nervous of his moods, confident that he won&039;t punish me, and he see the coast road, and eventually pulls up in a parking lot opposite a vast marina

"We&039;ll eat here I&039;ll open your door," he says in such a way that I know it&039;s not wise to et old?

We stroll arm in arm to the waterfront where the marina stretches out in front of us

"So many boats," I murmur in wonder There are hundreds of the up and down on the calm, still waters of the marina Out on the Sound there are dozens of sails in the wind, weaving to and fro, enjoying the fine weather It&039;s a wholesoht The wind has picked up a little, so I pull my jacket around ainst hi the view"

"I could stare at it all day Coe seafront bar and makes his way to the counter The de-

cor is land than West Coast - white-li paraphernalia hanging everywhere It&039;s a bright, cheery place

"Mr Grey!" the baret you this afternoon?"

"Dante, good afternoon" Christian grins as we both slip onto bar stools "This lovely lady is Anastasia Steele"

"Welcoives me a friendly s e diamond stud winks at me from his ear I like him immediately

"What would you like to drink, Anastasia?"