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My heart is pounding The elevator arrives on the first floor, and I scra once, but fortunately not sprawling on to the ilass doors, and I&039;rain I closeto recover what&039;s left of my equilibrium
No man has ever affected me the way Christian Grey has, and I cannot fathom why
Is it his looksHis civilityWealthPowerI don&039;t understand h of relief What in heaven&039;s naainst one of the steel pillars of the building, I valiantly attehts I shake ular rhythain I head for the car
As I leave the city liin to feel foolish and embarrassed as I replay the interview inthat&039;s iinary Okay, so he&039;s very attractive, confident, co, at ease with hiant, and for all his impeccable manners, he&039;s autocratic and cold Well, on the surface
An involuntary shiver runs down ht to be - he&039;s accoe He doesn&039;t suffer fools gladly, but why should heAgain, I&039;raphy
While cruising along the I-5, my mind continues to wander I&039;m truly perplexed as to what makes someone so driven to succeed Soenda And Kate&039;s questions - ugh! The adoption and asking hiay! I shudder I can&039;t believe I said that Ground, s me up now! Every tie with eh!
I check the speedo more cautiously than I would on any other occasion And I know it&039;s theatmy head, I realize that Grey&039;s et it, Ana, I scold myself I decide that all in all, it&039;s been a very interesting experience, but I shouldn&039;t dwell on itPut it behind you I never have to see hiht I switch on the MP3 player and turn the volu indie rock music as I press down on the accelerator
As I hit the 1-5, I realize I can drive as fast as I want
We live in a ston, close to the Vancouver caht the place for her, and I pay peanuts for rent It&039;s been hooing to want a blow-by-blow account, and she is tenacious Well, at least she has the mini-disc Hopefully I won&039;t have to elaboratethe interview
"Ana! You&039;re back" Kate sits in our living area, surrounded by books She&039;s clearly been studying for finals - though she&039;s still in her pink flannel pajamas decorated with cute little rabbits, the ones she reserves for the after up with boyfriends, for assorted illnesses, and for general sto worry I expected you back sooner"
"Oh, I thought Ithe interview ran over" I wave the mini-disc recorder at her
"Ana, thank you sothis I owe you, I knoas itWhat was he like?" Oh no - here we go, the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition
I struggle to answer her question What can I say?
"I&039;ain He was rather inti "He&039;s very focused, intense even - and young Really young"
Kate gazes innocently at me I frown at her
"Don&039;t you look so innocent Why didn&039;t you giveon basic research" Kate clamps a hand to her mouth
"Jeez, Ana, I&039;m sorry - I didn&039;t think"
I huff
"Mostly he was courteous, forhtly stuffy - like he&039;s old before his ti How old is he anyway?"
"Twenty-seven Jeez, Ana, I&039;m sorry I should have briefed you, but I was in such a panic Letthe interview"
"You look better Did you eat your soup?" I ask, keen to change the subject
"Yes, and it was delicious as usual I&039;ratitude I check my watch
"I have to run I can still make my shift at Clayton&039;s"
"Ana, you&039;ll be exhausted"
"I&039;ll be fine I&039;ll see you later"
I&039;ve worked at Clayton&039;s since I started at WSU It&039;s the largest independent hardware store in the Portland area, and over the four years I&039;ve worked here, I&039;ve co we sell - although ironically, I&039;m crap at any DIY I leave all that to my dad I&039;m much more of a curl-up-with-a-book-in-a-colad I canto focus on that isn&039;t Christian Grey We&039;re busy - it&039;s the start of the su their homes Mrs Clayton is pleased to seeto make it today"
"My appointht I can do a couple of hours"
"I&039;m real pleased to see you"
She sendsshelves, and I&039;m soon absorbed in the task
When I arrive ho on her laptop
Her nose is still pink, but she has her teeth into a story, so she&039;s concentrating and typing furiously I&039;rueling interview, and by being rushed offabout the essay I have to finish and all the studying I haven&039;t done today because I was holed up withhiood stuff here, Ana Well done I can&039;t believe you didn&039;t take him up on his offer to show you around He obviously wanted to spendquizzical look
I flush, and my heart rate inexplicably increases That wasn&039;t the reason, surelyHe just wanted to show me around so I could see that he was lord of all he surveyed I realize I&039; my lip, and I hope Kate doesn&039;t notice But she seems absorbed in her transcrip-tion"I hear what you mean about formal Did you take any notes?" she asks
"Um no, I didn&039;t"
"That&039;s fine I can still make a fine article with this Sha son of a bitch, isn&039;t he?"
I flush
"I suppose so" I try hard to sound disinterested, and I think I succeed
"Oh come on, Ana - even you can&039;t be immune to his looks" She arches a perfect eyebrow at ood ploy
"You probably would have got a lot more out of him"
"I doubt that, Ana Come on - he practically offered you a job Given that I foisted this on you at the last lances up at me speculatively I make a hasty retreat into the kitchen
"So what did you really think of him?" DaoThink of so - quick
"He&039;s very driven, controlling, arrogant - scary really, but very charismatic I can understand the fascination," I add truthfully, as I peer round the door at her hoping this will shut her up once and for all
"You, fascinated by a athering the s of a sandwich so she can&039;t see ayIncidentally, that was thequestion I was mortified, and he was pissed to be asked too" I scowl at the es, he never has a date"
"It was elad I&039;ll never have to lay eyes on hiain"
"Oh, Ana, it can&039;t have been that bad I think he sounds quite taken with you"
Taken withridiculous
"Would you like a sandwich?"
"Please"
We talk no , much to my relief Once we&039;ve eaten, I&039; table with Kate and, while she works on her article, I work on my essay on Tess of the D&039;Urbervilles Da ti century By the tione to bed I make my way to my room, exhausted, but pleased that I&039;ve accomplished so much for a Monday
I curl up inmy mother&039;s quilt around ht I drearay eyes
For the rest of the week, I throw myself into my studies andher last edition of her student azine before she has to relinquish it to the new editor while also cra for her finals By Wednesday, she&039;s ht of her pink-flannel-with-too-ia to check on her, but also so she can wish me luck for my final exams She proceeds to tell- my mother is all about new business ventures Funda to occupy her tioldfish It&039;ll be so new next week
She worries ed the house to finance this latest scheme And I hope that Bob - her relatively new butan eye on her now that I&039;rounded than Husband Nus with you, Ana?"
For a moment, I hesitate, and I have Mom&039;s full attention
"I&039;m fine"
"AnaHave you met someone?" Wow how does she do that The excitement in her voice is palpable
"No, Mo You&039;ll be the first to know if I do"
"Ana, you really need to get out more, honey You worry me"
"Mom, I&039;m fine How&039;s Bob?" As ever, distraction is the best policy
Later that evening, I call Ray, my stepdad, Mom&039;s Husband Number Two, the man I consider my father, and the man whose name I bear It&039;s a brief conversation In fact, it&039;s not so runts in response toRay is not a talker But he&039;s still alive, he&039;s still watching soccer on TV, and going bowling and fly-fishing orfurniture when he&039;s not Ray is a skilled carpenter and the reason I know the difference between a hawk and a handsaw All seeht, Kate and I are debating what to do with our evening - ant some time out from our studies, from our work, and fros
Standing on our doorstep is ne
"Jose! Great to see you!" I give hi "Come in"
Jose is the first person Ias lost and lonely as I did
We recognized a kindred spirit in each of us that day, and we&039;ve been friends ever since
Not only do we share a sense of humor, but we discovered that both Ray and Jose Senior were in the saether As a result, our fathers have beco and is the first in his faht, but his real passion is photography Jose has a great eye for a good picture
"I have news" He grins, his dark eyes twinkling
"Don&039;t tell et kicked out for another week," I tease, and he scowls playfully atto exhibit ratulations!" Delighted for hiain Kate beao Jose! I should put this in the paper Nothing like last rins
"Let&039;s celebrate I want you to co" Jose looks intently at lancing nervously at Kate
Jose and I are good friends, but I know deep down inside, he&039;d like to be more He&039;s cute and funny, but he&039;s just not for me He&039;s more like the brother I never had Katherine often teases ene, but the truth is - I just haven&039;t h part ofknees, heart-in-hts
So within the company of my literary romantic heroes, and consequently h But in reality, nobody&039;s ever made me feel like that
Until very recently, the unwelcome, still small voice of ht i there, not after that painful interview Are you gay, Mr Grey I wince at the hts since then, but that&039;s just to purge the awful experience from my systene He&039;s tall, and in his jeans and t-shirt he&039;s all shoulders anddark eyes Yes, Jose&039;s pretty hot, but I think he&039;s finally getting the e: we&039;re just friends The cork makes its loud pop, and Jose looks up and sht to spruce up their homes Mr and Mrs Clayton, John and Patrick - the two other part-timers
- and I are all rushed off our feet But there&039;s a lull around lunchtime, and Mrs Clayton asksbehind the counter at the till discreetly eating ue nuainst the ite from the order book to the computer screen and back as I check the entries lance up and find aze of Christian Grey who&039;s standing at the counter, staring at me intently
Heart failure
"Miss Steele What a pleasant surprise" His gaze is unwavering and intense
Holy crap What the hell is he doing here looking all tousled-hair and outdoorsy in his crea bootsI think my mouth has popped open, and I can&039;t locate my brain or my voice
"Mr Grey," I whisper, because that&039;s all I can host of a sht with hu some private joke
"I was in the area," he says by way of explanation "I need to stock up on a few things
It&039;s a pleasure to see you again, Miss Steele" His voice is ware caraathera frantic tattoo, and for so furiously under his steady scrutiny I a before me My ood-looking - he&039;s the epito, and he&039;s here Here in Clayton&039;s Hardware Store Go figure Finally nitive functions are restored and reconnected with the rest of my body