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"Should Sophia miraculously return and still wish to marry me, her reputation would be intact Later, when it beca … then I suppose it became a matter of pride I didn’t want anyone to knohy she’d truly jilted me Hell, even I didn’t knohy she’d truly jilted me Far preferable to let people suppose my dissolute behavior drove her to cry off"

At last, Isabel found her voice "But why continue it, even after we becaht of whiskey, allowing her tiether He knew she would She was a clever girl

When he lowered his glass, she was frowning down at her hands See? Hadn’t taken her but seconds

She said, "Mr Hollyhurstto the election?"

"Yes"

"You’ve been trying to lose?"

Toby felt like telling her it wasnot to win--but that would be ’s events "Yes"

"But the ca to Surrey every day"

Toby shook his head slowly

"Dear Lord You haven’t?"

A look of revulsion formed on her face, and it nearly killed him to view it But he wouldn’t allow hi to Surrey," she asked, "where have you been spending your days?

Not… Oh, heavens Not at the Hidden Pearl?"

"No," he said firmly "Never there, nor anywhere like it I went… different places The park, the club Much of the time, I was simply here in my study I half-expected--half-hoped, I think

--you’d one day discover me, and the ruse would be over But you’re always so occupied with your charitable efforts, your society ed "You never noticed I was here"

"Of course I didn’t notice you! Why would I go searching the house for my husband, when he’s supposedly off in Surrey? I believed in you I trusted you I thought you wanted this, as ht we met, you--"

"Come now, Isabel Be honest You know I never truly wanted to run for MP"

"Yes, but I thought you wanted ht a hand to her throat, as if astounded by the voluer "Even if politics wasn’t your inclination, you knew I sought a husband with influence in Parliament And before ere married, you promised to run You pro The promises ca thelass There was no going back now Half-confessions served no purpose It was time to lay the truth out before her, and let her do with it what she would

"When we first becaed," he continued in an even tone, "I would have told you anything you wanted to hear--tales, fancies, lies I simply had to make you mine, by any means"

"But why?"

"Pride," he said in a matter-of-fact tone "And some juvenile form of retribution I wanted to take you from Gray the way he’d taken Sophia from me"

"Sophia?" Her hand dropped froht be sick "All this time, it was about her? You never wantedher in his arms She tried to pull away, but he held her firmly "Isabel, I wanted you from the first, before I even learned your naent, principled, passionate woman you are, I fell in love with you, body and soul By the ti more than to keep you happy But by then I’d made you so many absurd promises, and you had this naïve, idealized iood opinion I wanted to deserve you And I thought h--"

"At first" She refused to look at hi instead at his lapel "At first, you wanted to earn ood opinion But not anymore"

"Because I can’t" Toby’s mouth went dry "I just don’t have it in me To be truthful, I’h I knew I’d inevitably disappoint you--if it wasn’t by losing this election, it would be by losing the next, or by failing to gain the level of influence you desired … Sooner or later, I knew you’d learn the truth I’m not the man you’d wish me to be"

"But you could be that man With a bit more time, if you only made the effort You have so ift for--"

"Stop Just stop" Toby released her and raised a hand to his temple "Don’t tell me what I could be, with just a bit of improvement I’m not one of your blasted charity projects, I’h for ood opinion I want your love, whether I deserve it or not"

She choked back a sob "You lied to n, the opera, Mr Hollyhurst… and now this" Fu, she opened her reticule and withdrew a scrap of paper

"Look at this Just look at it"

She waved the caricature under his nose Toby didn’t need to look at it--the horrid i his voice, she continued, "‘Let me take you to the opera,’ you said ‘Let me spoil you,’ you said ‘If you want to be a lady of influence, you must appear beautiful, desirable, au courant’ And look at , mad with lust Who would listen to that woman, I ask you? What kind of influence can I have now?" She balled the paper in her hands and threw it at hi If you really loved me, how could you do this? You … you liar!"