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Tragic story told Tears contained Crisis averted

Until Lily sniffed and began to blink furiously Perhaps the dust bothered her, too

"I’m sorry," she said, her tone one of dis to cry"

"No" Panic seized hier, he propped up her quivering chin "Lily, I’m not worth your tears"

The words squeaked from her throat "I can’t help it"

Oh Lord, here they ca down to her chin Her shoulders lurched with violent sobs, and she leaned forward, sluainst his chest

He raised his hands in defense, or perhaps surrender What should he do? He could bring himself to refuse her comfort, but he couldn’t refuse to co he could Which was, to be honest, exactly what he’d been wanting to do for a very, very long tiht Leo died

He wrapped his ar her into the protection of his body

And he held her tight

Chapter Thirteen

Lily loved hi it, and at theit She didn’t knohether it ether different and new She just knew that no ins, no matter what his sins, no matter how many lies he’d told, she cared for this man--loved him--and she could not re born in sha his mother while he was still no more than a boy Her heart could not remain unmoved, and her body would not be still

She trembled with all the fear he would not admit She cried the tears he refused to shed His arms were steel bands about her chest, and she pulled hie to his--as if she could draw the pain froht her hands to his shoulders and pushed hi, and she needed to understand

"Wait," she said, touching the backs of her fingers to his cheek "Go slowly You’re losing , he closed his eyes "Yes, I know And you were never even mine"

"Julian, please" How should she take such words? She looked for clues in the features of his face, scanning for an ironic quirk of his brow or a serious set to his jaw

He joined her on the floor They both sat, legs folded and hands doing the things hands did when left at loose ends Picking at seaht crept up the paneled wall The new day was gaining strength, taking shape It could no longer be ignored

"What happens now?" she asked Where did they go froether, Lily wasn’t sure she cared

He said, "I’s "You’re … you’re leaving? But when?"

"I don’t know precisely Soon"

Inwardly, she told herself not to panic Men left London all the tis to do, people to see Horses to purchase and investments to look after She said casually, "When will you return?"

"I won’t be returning"

Cruel, cruel man She’d just shed a basin’s worth of tears for hi forever?

"This is why you must marry," he said "I can’t stay around to look out for you, and I can’t bear the thought of you alone"

"And I’ain?"

"Yes, if you knohat’s best for you" He gestured with one hand, stirring the cloud of dustwhat a decent man I am, beneath the devilry But it’s not the truth It only seems that way, Lily It only seems that way because I’m a better man when I’ or romantic, but they didn’t land that way A horrid notion wormed in her stomach "Does this have to do with your mother? Because she was deaf, and I am too? Is that why you feel so …" She hardly knew the word to say "… attached toto act on it?"

"No No, it’s not like that Trust me when I say this" His eyes wandered her body, and his mouth quirked with sensualofhe was being truthful She shuddered at the thought of being soure to him

"You do share certain of her attributes," he went on "Kindness, loyalty, courage Naturally I ad like her, I pro, or lack of it--if anything, I’m more poised to see the differences My mother was born deaf You were deafened by illness It’s an entirely separate thing I can say to you, the pianoforte is out of tune, and though you don’t hear it, you understand exactly what I mean Not so with my mother But she and Anna and the others downstairs, they notice things--little subtleties of sights and smells and textures--that you and I would never think to heed" He smiled "If it helps, they don’t see you as one of theracious to you, but that’s because you’re with ht of Anna’s bewildered expression when Lily confessed she couldn’t sign, and her e on the slate: Friend of Jamie welcome

"Is that your name, then? Jamie?"

He shook his head "Not really It’s just what they’ve always calledby Julian"

"So it is your real naain "No I don’t think so"