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Thankfully they were just rumors that were reported nonstop on ESPN and the news, but weren’t based on any facts It was funny how often that kind of thing happened So ot leaked and talked about on the sports channels that had no factual basis at all Not surprisingly, the ive them the leeway to report whatever they wanted

One day Jack’s coach pulled him into his office, and Jack told me later that he’d braced for the news, terrified to have to tell ain But the coach only called him in to tell him that the ruo

"I was so scared when Coach called me in, Kitten You have no idea," Jack confessed as we lay in bed that night

"Oh, I can ilad it was only rumors"

"They shouldn’t be able to say shit like that"

"Daddy, bad word" Chance’s tiny voice surprised us, co from the doorway of our bedrooht," Jack told hi up, bud?"

"I had a bad drea his tattered blue blanket behind him as he walked toward Jack’s side of the bed "Can I sleep with youse guys?"

I smiled and scooted away from my husband to make some space between us "You bet Get in here" Jack reached for him and helped pull him up onto our bed

"Thanks, Mommy Thanks, Daddy" He scrambled under the blankets and in no tily at our little boy and said quietly, "I’h already If they traded me I would have quit"

"What? No, you wouldn’t have," I insisted Not because I didn’t want Jack to be home more, but because I didn’t really believe him

"This is my tenth season, Kitten Full pension after I co about it anyway"

"Thinking about what? Quitting?"

I couldn’t i baseball All I’d ever knoas hi a ball player three hundred sixty-five days a year It wasn’t so He was always prepped, prepared, and working toward new goals

All his hard work paid off The a as he once was He was right when he’d insisted that he just needed time to fully heal These days he consistently threeen ninety-three and ninety-four mile-per-hour pitches, just like before

"I think this ht be my last season"

I sucked in a shocked breath Hearing those words froo back to being who he hen he got hurt That fear remained, even as I responded, "It’s up to you I’ll support whatever you decide to do Just be sure, okay?" I s out the light and snuggling next to our bed-hogging son

But my eyes stayed open as my mind whirled, and it was nearly dawn before I fell into a fitful sleep

You Miss Out

It had been five years since Cassie and I extended our fa son, Chance I loved Cassie more today than I did yesterday And there was no doubt that I’d love her ht now There seeirl

She made me a better person She was the mother of my child There was no way I could explain how this made me feel about her I only knew that my heart felt like it expanded daily to fit in all the love I had for her

Cassie started aot older She did her best to attend every gaht Chance or not And she only traveled with me if Melissa and Dean watched Chance, but now that he was starting school, she felt extra guilty about leaving hi hi the school year And even e played at home, it was usually on a weekday and that didn’t fly with her She insisted on giving Chance as much structure as possible, with a schedule that didn’t include growing up at a ballpark

Weekends were a different story, though Thank God for weekend ga Pony baseball, I wasn’t sure how ames they’d be able toto my son And you knohat? I didn’t h, was the fact that I s My entire life had revolved around being at a baseball stadiu to one

There was no need for anyone to tell ood I’d had it, because I already knew But no one ever told you how hard it really was to balance family with a baseball career You knohy they didn’t tell you?

Because it was impossible

There was no balance

Baseball won every ti days off to plan or celebrate anniversaries, holidays, or birthdays was one thing when it was justsucked and I felt like a dick, but Cassie never co entirely to miss out on your own kid’s birthday Every year since he’d been born, I’d ot to relive each one in a series of photographs Cassie had taken But it wasn’t the sa ready to start kindergarten the next day It was his first day of "big kid" school, as he liked to call it, and I was stuck in some swanky hotel in Arizona I knew Cassie was fine withouther number, I couldn’t help but smile when he answered the phone instead of her

"Hello? Daddy?"

"Hey, bud Getting ready for school toht now"

"Oh, I see Can you put Mommy on the phone?"

"No"

"Uh, why not?" I stopped