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I looked at hiht was all powerful and the very reason for our existence, but to not be able to ask questions seemed insane to me, especially in a situation such as this
"It is the way it should be Krista," Haniel said, reading ht knows the outcome of every situation you will ever face, but it is your freewill that gives you the opportunity to change the outco you encounter The explanations that you seek will only inhibit your very essence of being To question The Light, would be to know your future"
"I get that, but surely a little heads-up could only help in a circu into the conversation
"It is neither ht," Haniel said, closing the door on any further argu," he added, heading for the front door
"Wait, what about the others? Are we leaving without the," he said, closing the door softly behind hi back against the worn cushions of the couch we had picked up at a garage sale The musty cushions emitted a faint scent of pipe tobacco as I rested my head back Shawn had volunteered to clean them, but Sam and I had both protested For so to the both of us
"He’s got a point Sis If The Light answered every question we asked, ould never e the course of our lives," Shawn said, perching on the arm of the couch next to me, as he reached out to ruffle my hair affectionately
I ducked to the side trying to savelike a cyclone had wrecked havoc on it
"Stop!" I protested, giggling as he used his long ars between you and your ain
"The same She was upset when I told her I wanted you and Shawn to drivemyself from her so much the last few months, that her protest seeed soI’ I’ fat pain in the neck," I said defensively, trying to hide the real reason I had begun to cutme this ould be much easier on her than if I were to die
"Krista we’re not judging you We kno tough all of this has been on you," Sarasp my hand
Sudden moisture filled my eyes as my friends all looked at htotheto allow anything to happen to you, no o," Shawn said, his voice shaking with euys just don’t understand," I said standing up "I’m an empty shell without hi left inside me to ache If I’ve lost him forever, ill fill that void he left behind," I said with rateful for the silence that now followed my rant I did not want to be pacified I just wanted theuys tost dissipated I headed toward the door, keeping my eyes averted from the worried looks that followed
Chapter 3
The next ed myself out of bed exhausted My mom and I had stayed up late as shewith me to Colorado to check in at school I knew this was all taking a toll on her, and I hoped to be able to make it up to her so I wanted to do alone After a fountain of tears she had finally consented and we hit the sack on soathered ether I looked aroundMy heart broke as I watched Feline snoozing on the rocking chair in the corner of my room I approached him sadly, and sank down on my knees in front of the chair
"I willhioodbyes were inevitable, and I thought I had prepared myself, but as Feline let out a loud purr of approval, hot tears streamed down my cheeks It’s ti oodbyes
"I love you buddy," I said, dropping a kiss on the top of his head
I stood back up, slung rasped the handles of my two suitcases as I prepared to head downstairs I sweptin the space My winter clothes from Montana sat in the far corner of the room in three cartons that were ready to be sent when I was ready I opened the door and was startled to seein one of the Lazy Boys in ourthe bags at my feet
"Yeah, Shawn and Sarief was pressing hard on rand plan to distance myself from her had seemed like the best solution to all theat her drooped shoulders and red eyes, the guilt was beco more than I could bear
I dropped my backpack at my feet and stu aret away fro up the only excuse that would make sense to her
"I knoeetie I just feel like I lost you somewhere between ourmy hair
"You haven’t lost me"
"I know you miss him, but don’t lose yourself while you’re away," she said, cupping my face so that she could peer into my eyes
I nodded iven powers, I shifted souish aside and replaced it with the small amount of joy I felt the previous day after Haniel acceptedher a quick peck as the doorbell rang fros," she said e of eic on her and hopefully they would linger for awhile after rabbed one of the suitcases I had abandoned in lanced around the comfy haven we had created one last tiether I was anxious and excited to begin our journey and to finally be able to leave the human charade behind for a while, but I also felt so sad to leave the one person that had always been there forrasped the handle of my fuchsia suitcase
The wheels of the suitcase thumped down the stairs behind et that," Shawn said, bounding up the last few steps to grab the heavy suitcase froht as the feather pillow on ," I muttered for his ears only
"I’ down the last three stairs
"I can get that Mrs Miller," he said, grabbing the second suitcase froroan when I saw the astonished look on my mom’s face Shaas about as subtle as a Mack truck He forgot soth that would rival a superhero froht," I said toyou to that If I don’t hear from you by nine o’clock your tiht out, do you understand
"I promise, but I won’t make it there if you squeeze all the life out of hten the mood "I love you," I added softly