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Fearing I’ve overstepped ain, I walk out of the bedroom and make my way back across the street

I OPEN THE door to the bathroom and slip inside I set the clothes and a towel down on the counter, then glance up to the h that I can see the shower in the reflection There’s a section a few inches here the wall should htly back Lake’s foot is propped up against the porcelain tub and she’s shaving her legs She’s using my razor

And my shower

And her clothes are on the floor, next to my feet Not on her She’s three feet from me without her clothes on

It’s one of the worst days of her life and I’ Ass-hole

If I had any semblance of a decent conscious at all, I’d have never allowed her intothe razor glide up her ankle, praying she’s too upset to go hoht I’o

I quietly back out of the bathrooht to the kitchen sink and splash water on e of the counter and take a deep breath, preparingout of the bathroo at her and throwing her into the shower I don’t blame her I’m sure there was an easier way I could have calmed her down

"I need a towel!" she yells froe of the hallway

"It’s on the sink So are your clothes" I go back to the living room and sit on the couch in a lame attempt to appear casual Maybe if I don’t seem so pissed anymore, she’ll reht of her being mad at me for another day The day she recited her poem in class was probably the hardest knock irland it happened in front of seventeen other students I realize none of theet, other than Gavin, but still It felt like I’d taken over thirty bullets straight to the heart with each insult that cains to open and oes out theI ju ht

When she seesand she backs up to the wall I wrap ht "I’ it," I say in my best attempt to excuse my actions Rather than try to hit hten as I atteain

"It’s okay," she says softly "I kinda sorta had a bad day"

I want nothing ht noant to tell her how much I need her How et for her, I’ll be by her through every second of it

But I don’t Because of Julia, I don’t I reluctantly pull back and place my arms on her shoulders

"So we’re friends? You aren’t gonna try to punch ain?"

"Friends," she says with a forced smile I can tell she wants to be my friend about as much as I want to be hers I have to turn away from her and head down the hallway before the words "I love you" fall helplessly from my mouth

"Hoas the matinee?" she asks froet to the heart of why she’s here, or I’et she’s not here for me

"Did you talk to your mom?" I ask

"Jeez Deflect much?"

"Did you talk to her? Please don’t tell " I continue into the kitchen and grab two glasses She takes a seat at the bar

"No Not the entire day We talked"

"And?" I ask

"Andshe has cancer"

Damn that indomitable will

I roll erator, relass, she turns away from the bar and flips her head over, then pulls the towel off her head Her hair falls around her and she brushes at the tangles with her fingers She sh theive to touch--crap! I realize, just as she glances up, that I’ve poured way toodown my hand and onto the counter I quickly wipe it up with a hand towel

Please tell rab the powdered chocolate out of the cabinet and a spoon, then stir some chocolate into her cup "Will she be okay?"

"No Probably not"

I should know better than to ask close-ended questions with her But I haven’t asked Julia any details and I’ treatment?"

She rolls her eyes and looks incredibly annoyed "She’s dying, Will Dying She’ll probably be dead within the year,chemo to keep her comfortable While she dies ’Cause she’ll be dead Because she’s dying There Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Her response sends a surge of guilt throughdone toshe hasn’t even accepted yet I decide to drop it She’ll corab a handful of ice, then drop it into her cup, sliding it across the counter to her "On the rocks"

She looks down at the chocolate milk and smiles "Thanks," she says She finishes her drink in silence

When the glass is e room She lies down on the floor and stretches her arhts off," she says "I just want to listen for a while"

I turn out the lights, then walk to where she is and lower myself onto the floor beside her She’s quiet, but the stress radiates from her

"She doesn’t want ive him to Brenda"