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"Listen, Julia" I turn toward her on the couch "I really am sorry about what happened between Lakebetween Layken and me The position I’ve put her in isn’t fair to her and I feel terrible It’s completely my fault"
She smiles and reaches across the couch, then pats the top of my hand "I knoasn’t intentional, Will What happened was an unfortunate hs and shakes her head "As uyit’s just not right She’s never been in love before and it scares me when I think about the way she looked when she walked through that front door last Thursday night I know she wants to do the right thing, but I also know she would do anything to get back to that moment It’s the first time I’ve seen her that happy since before her father died"
Hearing her validate that Lake’s feelings were just as intense aseven harder I know she’s only trying to make a point, but it’s a point I’d rather not hear
"What I’ to say isthis is in your hands, Will I know she’s not strong enough to deny her heart what it wants, so I need you to proot more at stake here than she does This isn’t a fairy tale This is reality If you two end up following your hearts and not your heads, it’ll end in disaster"
I shift on the couch and attempt to think of a way to respond Julia is obviously the type of person who can see through bullshit, so I know I need to be up front with her
"I like her, Julia And in some odd way, I care about her I know I’ve only known her for a little over a week now, butI do I care about her And that’s exactly why you don’t have anything to worry about I want nothing et past this--whatever it is she’s feeling I know the only way to do that is to keep our relationship strictly professional from now on And I pro fro one hundred percent honest with her But if I’ one hundred percent honest withWhich is why I have to keep ainst the back of the couch and lays her head on it "You’re a good person, Will I hope one day she’ll be lucky enough to find so it yet, you know? And definitely not under these circuht now, either," I say quietly And that response is for certain the truth If there’s anything I know for sure, it’s that I don’t want to burden Lake with all ofand, unlike me, she still has a chance at an untainted future I don’t want to be the one to take that from her
Julia leans back into the couch and looks at the picture of ain I watch her while she stares at it I can see nohere Lake gets that distant gaze I wonder if they were ever despondent before Lake’s father passed away, or if it’s a natural reaction after someone close to you dies It makes me wonder if maybe I’m just as despondent when I think about oes up to her cheek and she wipes at newly for, but I instantly feel her sadness It exudes from her
"What was it like for you?" she whispers, still staring at the picture
I face forward again and look at their picture "What hat like?" I ask "Their death?"
She nods, but doesn’t look atain "It was" I realize I’ve never talked to anyone about what it was like for me Other than the slam I’ve perforle person "It was as if every single nighthout le instant"
She squeezes her eyes shut and cla away
"Julia?"
She’s unable to control her tears now I scoot closer to her on the couch and putbecause of what I said She’s crying because of so on here than just er I pull back and look at her
"Julia, tell ?"
She pulls away and stands up, heading toward the door "I need to go," she says through her tears She walks out the front door before I have a chance to stop her When Iuncontrollably I walk over to her, unsure of what to do Unsure if I’, even if I wanted to
"Look, Julia Whatever this is, you need to talk about it You don’t have to tell et Layken?"
She darts her eyes up to mine "No!" she says "Don’t I don’t want her to see me upset like this"
I placeokay? Are you okay?"
She breaks her gaze fro I’ve hit the nail on the head She’s not okay She steps away from me and wipes her tears aith her shirt She inhales a few deep breaths, atte
"I’m not ready for thehtly and glances at her house "I just want theh so much already this year I can’t tell them yet It’ll break their souls"
She doesn’t come out and say it, but I can hear it in her voice She’s sick
I wrapthrough, for what she’s been through I hug her for Lake, I hug her for Kel, and I hug her for Caulder andher because it’s all I know to do
"I won’t say anything I proin to put ine how hard this must be for her To know that both of your children are possibly going to be left in the world without you? At least my parents didn’t knoas about to happen to them before it happened At least they didn’t have to carry around the burden that Julia is carrying
She finally pulls away and wipes at her eyes again "Just send Kel hoet to work"