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She turns her head away from me "If I don’t do this now, I’ll never be able to do it"

She stands up and tries to walk away, but I pull her back to ainst her stomach

"Please"

She runs her hands over my hair and down my neck, then bends forward and kisses the top of my head "I feel awful, Will," she whispers "Awful But I’m not about to live a life that I’m not ready for, just because I feel sorry for you"

I pressin her words

She feels sorry for ainst her stomach She drops her hands and takes a step back I stand up and walk to the bedroo she needs to leave "The last thing I want is your pity," I say, looking her in the eyes

"Will, don’t," she pleads "Please don’t beup at lossy, deep shade of blue I used to tell her they were the exact saht now almost makes rip both sides of the door, pressing ainst the wood I close my eyes and try to hold it in It feels like the pressure, the stress, the e up for the last teeks--it feels like I’ently places her hand onit off and turn around to face her again "Teeks, Vaughn!" I yell I realize how loud I’, so I lower my voice and step closer to her "They’ve been dead for teeks! How could you possibly be thinking about yourself right now?"

She walks pastroorabs her purse from the couch and walks to the front door She opens the door and turns to face me before she leaves "You’ll thank ht now, but so what’s best for us"

She turns to leave and I yell after her, "What’s best for you, Vaughn! You’re doing what’s best for you!"

As soon as the door closes behind her I break down I rush back to my bedroom and slam the door, then turn around and punch it over and over, harder and harder When I can’t feel my hand anyainst the door I’ve had so much to process these past teeks--I don’t kno to process this, too

What the hell has happened to my life?

I eventually make my way back to the bed and sit with my elbows onat htstand, watchingas the culmination of all that has happened these last teeks slowly tears me apart

Why weren’t they better prepared for so me with all of this responsibility? Their ill-preparedness has cost me my scholarship, the love of my life, and now, quite possibly, my entire future I snatch the picture up and place raph With all ertips Once it’s successfully shattered--just like ainst the wall in front of me The fralass sprinkle the carpet

I’ over to turn off ain

"Just leave, Vaughn Please"

I look up and see Caulder standing in the doorway, crying He looks terrified It’s the same look I’ve seen so many times since the ed hirandparents It’s the same look that rips my heart in two every tis me back down to earth

I wipe my eyes and motion for him to come closer When he does, I wraphim while he quietly cries into my shirt I rock him back and forth and stroke his hair I kiss him on the forehead and pull hiht, Buddy?"

2

the honeymoon

"WOW," LAKE SAYS in disbelief "what a selfish bitch"

"Yeah Thank God for that," I say I clasp ,Lake’s position on the bed "It’s funny how history almost repeated itself"

"What do you hn broke up with me because she didn’t want to be with me just because she felt sorry for ht I ith you because I felt sorry for you"

"I didn’t break up with you," she says defensively

I laugh and sit up on the bed "The hell you didn’t! Your exact words were, ‘I don’t care if it takes days, or weeks, or iving you time to think"