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I grab a tissue and take a few deep breaths in an attempt to hold back the rest of

I feelher My heart aches for her For us She eventually starts coughing and has to turn away I watch her as she continues to cough, gasping for breath She's so sick How did I not notice? Her cheeks were even shallower than before Her hair is thinner I hardly recognize her I've been so focused onswept away right beforespell passes and my ht Brenda will be here at seven, she wants to be here since she'll be his guardian"

I laugh Because she's joking Right?

"What do you h school, soon you'll be in college I don't expect you to give everything up I don't want you to Brenda has raised children before She wants to do it Kel likes her"

Of all the things I have been through this year This moment, these words that have just coed

I stand up and grip the back of the chair and throw it to the floor with such force that the seat comes loose froKel! You are not giving her MY brother!" I scream so loud my throat burns

She atte her hands on my shoulders but I spin away from her

"Lake, stop it! Stop this! You're still in high school! You haven't even started college yet, what do you expect ot no one else," she walks after ot no one else, Lake," she cries

I open the door and swing around to her, ignoring her tears as I continue to screaht! He doesn’t need to know yet You better not tell him!"

"We have to tell hi

"Go ho about it! And if you ever want to see ain, you WILL NOT TELL HIM!"

I hear her sobs fade as I sla room behind me I run to his bedroom and throw myself on the bed I don't just cry; I sob, I wail, I screas before If you don't count the sip of ly had alcohol before It's not that I was too afraid, or too straight laced Honestly, I'd just never been offered anything I never went to parties in Texas I never spent the night with anyone who ever tried to coerce al I have frankly just never been in a situation where I could succuahts my dad usually took us out to a movie and to dinner Sunday I did homework That was my life

There was one exception when Kerris' cousin had a wedding and she invited ot her license and the reception had just ended We stayed late to help clean up We were having the best time We drank punch, ate leftover cake, danced, drank more punch We realized pretty quickly that someone had laced the punch e both noticed howI don't kno much of it we drank Too much that ere already too drunk to stop e noticed ere even drunk We never even thought te got in the car to go hoot a ot a laceration aboveokay In fact, the car was still drivable Rather than do the s and wait for help, we turned the car around and actually drove back to the reception to call ot into the next day is a different story

But there was aat the way she said 'bubble' We just kept saying it over and over until the car started to glide off of the road I saw the tree, and I kneere about to hit it But it was as if time slowed down The tree could have been fiveit took for the car to actually hit the tree The only thing I thought about was Kel The only thing I didn't think about school, the boys, the college I would ht about Kel, and hoas the only thing that was i that ht I was about to die

I soain I know this, because when I openedSee? People can't cry forever Everyone eventually falls asleep

I expect the tears to return once the fog clears from my mind, but instead I feel et out of bed and have an odd urge to clean And sing I needroo for The stereo I don't even have to search for music when I turn it on, there's already an Avett Brothers cd inside I crank up the voluet busy

Unfortunately, Will's house is surprisingly clean for twoto keep ood I know nine-year-olds don't have very good ai I scrub the toilet, the floors, the shower, the sinks It's clean

I anize,room where I dust and vacuum I mop the bathroom floors and wipe down every surface I can find I end up at the kitchen sink where I wash the only two dirty dishes in the house; lasses

It's almost seven when I hear Will's car pull up He and the two boys walk in the house and co roo?" Caulder asks

"Alphabetizing," I reply

"Alphabetizing what?" Will says

"Everything First I did the movies, then I did the cd's Caulder, I did the books in your rooames, but some of those started with numbers so I put the numbers first, then the titles" I point to the piles in front of e I'ory first; like beef, laories I'o to Kel's Let Julia know you're back," Will says as he continues to watch me

The boys don't move They just stare at the recipe cards in front of me

"Now!" Will yells They both jerk their eyes away and start back toward the door

"Your sister's weird," I hear Caulder say as they leave

Will sits down on the couch in front of me as I continue to alphabetize the recipes

"You're the teacher," I say "Should I put 'Baked Potato Soup' behind potato, or soup?"