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Part One

"…I’m as nowhere as I can be,

Could you add some somewhere to me?"

-The Avett Brothers, Salina

Chapter One

Kel and I load the last two boxes into the U-Haul I slide the door down and pull the latch shut, locking up eighteen years of memories, all of which include my dad

It’s been six h that my nine-year-old brother, Kel, doesn’t cry every ti forced to accept the financial afterle parented household A household that couldn’t afford to remain in Texas and in the only ho such a downer," my mom says as she hands an"

She never seeave ued for nine months over what I would be na Dad loved the name Kennedy, after a Kennedy "It doesn’t matter which Kennedy," he would say "I love them all!"

I was almost three days old before the hospital finally forced thereed to take the first three letters of both names and compromised on Layken, but neither of them has ever once referred to me as such

Isuch an upper! I’an"

My mother has always had an ability to deliver an entire lecture with a single glance I get the glance

I walk up the porch steps and head inside the house to h before the final turn of the key All of the rooh I’h the same house where I’ve lived since the day I was born These last six months have been a ind of e out of this home was inevitable, I realize that I just expected it to come after the end ofin what is no longer our kitchen when I catch a glimpse of a purple plastic hair clip exposed under the cabinet in the space where the refrigerator once stood I pick it up, wipe the dust off of it and run it back and forth between row back," Dad said

I was five years old andscissors on the bathrooe do I cutto be so ht that if I cut row back and no one would notice I cut a pretty wide chunk out of s and sat in front of the row back I picked the straight brown strands up off the floor and held the how I could secure thean to cry

When dad walked into the bathroohed and scooped me up, then positionedto notice, Lake" he pro out of the bathrooht here" He opened up his pal as you have this in your hair, Mo strands of hair across and secured the clip in place He then turned me around to face the mirror "See? Good as new!"

I looked at our reflection in the irl in the world I didn’t know of any other dad that had ic clips

I wore that clip in my hair every day for two months and my mother never once mentioned it Now that I look back on it, I realize he more than likely told her what I had done But when I was five, I believed in his ic

I look more like ht After having two kids she can’t really fit intoelse We both have brown hair that, depending on the weather, is either straight or wavy Her eyes are a deeper eh it could be that the paleness of her skin just makes them more prominent

I favor my dad in all the ways that count We had the same dry sense of humor, the sah Kel is a different story He took after our dad in the physical aspect with his dirty blond hair and soft features He’s on the small side for nine years old, but his personality makes up for what he lacks physically

I walk to the sink and turn it on, rubbing rime collected on the hair clip Kel walks backwards into the kitchen, just as I’e kid, but I couldn’t love hiame he likes to play which he calls ‘backwards day’ where he spendsbackwards and even requests dessert first I guess with such a big age difference and no other siblings, he has to find a way to entertain himself somehow

"Hurry to says Mom Layken!" he says, backwards

I place the hair clip in the pocket ofup my home for the very last time

Over the course of the next few daysonly twice at hotels to sleep Kel switches between Mo the final day withnine-hour stretch throughout the night, only stopping once for a short break As we close in on our nen of Ypsilanti, I take in s and the fact that it’s September but my heater is on I’ll definitely need a neardrobe