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"You can change yourto hell she doesn’t

"So can you," she says

I laugh

She laughs

Then we both shut the hell up and spend the rest of the hour proving exactly how much we love each other

I’ our clothes After I slip my shirt over my head, I pull her up and help her with her own shirt I stand up and pull on my jeans, then help her to her feet I rest nizing the perfect fit

"I could turn on the light before you leave," I say "Aren’t you a little curious to see the face of the guy you’re ainst ," she says Her words are muffled by my shirt, so she lifts her head away from my chest and tilts her face up to mine "Let’s not ruin it Once we find out who each other is, we’ll find soht now it’s perfect We can always have this perfect memory of that one tiain, but it doesn’t last long because the bell rings She doesn’t release her hold froainst o," she says

I close my eyes and nod "I know"

I’ I’ll never see her again I alht It only feels perfect because we’re pretending it’s perfect

She begins to pull away from me, so I lift my hands to her cheeks one last time "I love you, babe Wait for me after school, okay? In our usual spot"

"You know I’ll be there," she says "And I love you, too" She stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine; hard and desperate and sad She pulls away and ins to open it, I walk swiftly to her and push the door shut with ainst her back and I lower my mouth to her ear

"I wish it could be real," I whisper I put my hand on the doorknob and open it, then turn h and run h my hair I think I need a few minutes before I can leave this rooet the way she smells just yet In fact, I stand here in the dark and tryabout her to ain

Chapter One

One year later

"Oh, hten up" I crank the car just as Val climbs inside and slaainst the seat

As soon as she’s inside the car, the overwhelins to suffocate h that she won’t think I’ her She kno much perfume bothers me, especially when chicks smell like they bathe in it, but she never seems to care what I think, because she continues to douse it on by the gallon

"You’re so immature, Daniel," she mutters She flips the visor down and pulls her lipstick fro to wonder if you’ll ever change"

Change?

What the hell is that supposed tohs and drops her lipstick back into her purse, sether, then turns towardme you’re happy with the way you act?"

What?

With the way I act? Is she really coirl I’ve seen curse at waitresses for solass is seriously co her off and on forI would eventually change Hoping I’d become soetting back together with her, thinking she’ll be the one to change To be nice for once In reality, people are who they are and they’ll never really change So why the hell are Val and I even wasting our ti relationship if we don’t even really like who each other is?

"I didn’t think so," she says s my silence was admission that I’m not happy with how I act In actuality, my silence was the moment of clarity I’ve needed since the day I met her

I remain silent until we pull into her driveway I leave the car running, indicating that I have no plans on going inside with her tonight

"You’re leaving?" she asks

I nod and stare out the driver’s sideI don’t want to look at her, because I’uy and she’s hot and I know if I look at her, thenour relationship will beco up with her on her bed like I always do

"You aren’t the one who gets to be ht And in front of my parents, no less! How do you expect them to ever approve of you if you act the way you do?"

I have to exhale a slow, cal right now "How do I act, Val? Because I was ht, just like I’m myself every other minute of the day"