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I found out later he had been arrested An investigation was completed and it was even taken to court I re Dad couldn’t leave his job and she refused to keep us in Austin, so she moved us I don’t know if you know this, but they tried to work it out Dad tried to find a job that could support us in our nen, but he never did I think they eventually realized that it was easier being apart Maybe they both blamed each other for what happened to me

Now that I look back on all the therapy Moo, I hate that she didn’t see the need for her to see a therapist, too I alondered if their e could have been saved if they had talked to soain, I’ve been in therapy for years and it obviously didn’t save me I wish it did, and maybe it could have if I kne to apply it It did help h for several years, but it couldn’t save ht And as much as Mom tried to saveto be saved

I just wanted to be let go

I found out several years later that Hope’s father never had to pay for what he did to me For what he did to Hope He was extre hi back at him The entire community rallied behind him They couldn’t believe so his daughter ripped out froot aith it He was free to do whatever he wanted and I felt like I was locked in hell for eternity

Mom didn’t want you to find out what happened to me She was afraid of what it would do to you We both sa much you blamed yourself for what happened to Hope and she didn’t want to see you hurt any more

I didn’t want to see that, either

Now comes the most difficult part of this letter This is so hard for uilt over it Every day that I saw the pain in your eyes, I knew that if I just confessed to you what I’ony

But I couldn’t I couldn’t find a way to tell you that Hope was alive That she was okay and that Moo

I was fourteen and ere eating at a restaurant, just Mo a drink when I looked up and saw her walking through the door

I turned to Mohost, because she reached across the table and grabbed , sweetie?"

I couldn’t talk All I could do was stare at Hope Mom turned around and the second she laid eyes on her, she kneas her We were both stunned silent

The waitress led theht next to ours Molanced at me when she took her seat, then looked away like she didn’t even recognize nizeat that point I was just so eered the bracelet on my wrist and whispered her naain

She didn’t hear me, but the woman ith her did She darted her head in our direction with sheer panic in her eyes It confused me It confused Mom

The woman looked at Hope "I think I left the stove on," she said, standing up "We need to leave" Hope looked confused, but she stood up, too Her mother ushered her toward the exit to the restaurant That’s when Mom stood up and rushed after them I did, too

When ere all outside, the woman rushed Hope to the car, then immediately shut her door Mom and I walked up behind her and as soon as the woman turned around and faced Mom, tears welled in her eyes

"Please," the wo after that Mo in return I just stood there, trying to understand as happening

"Why did you take her?" Moan to cry and she kept shaking her head "Please," she cried "She can’t go back to him Please don’t do that to her Please, please, please"

Myhand on the wolanced at lanced back to the wohter safe, too"

The woman looked at Mom in confusion I know she didn’t understand exactly just how much Mom knew, but she understood Mom’s honesty She tilted her head and exhaled "Thank you," she said, backing away from us "Thank you" She opened her door and climbed into her car, then they drove away

I don’t knohere she lives We never found out the wooes by now I also stopped wearing the bracelet after that day because I knew in my heart that she didn’t need to be found But I needed you to know, Holder I just need you to know that she’s alive and she’s okay and you walking away fro you could have done for her

As far as ht or so years existing in this constant nightmare and I’m just tired The therapy and medication help numb the pain, but it’s the numbness I don’t want to endure, Holder That’s why I plan to do what I need to do, and that’s what led to your reading this letter I’ a life that I don’t really want to live any to be happy for you, because I’ to you, but I don’t kno to live any other way And I knohen I do it, it’ll break your heart I know it’ll devastate Mom and Dad And I know that you’ll hate e my mind I’ve lost the ability to care anymore, so it’s hard to eone I don’t reht of death could destroy me So I need you to know that I’m sorry, but I can’t help it

I’ve been let down by this life one toohope

I love you more than you know