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I shake my head

Daniel stands up and tosses his controller onto the bed "How the hell have you not kissed her?" he says, raising his voice "Because the way you’ve been acting thislove of your life"

I cock my head "Why do you seem pissed off by this?"

He rolls his head "Seriously?" He stalks towardhis hands on either side of o ofsorry for you Suck it up,kiss her already and allow yourself to be happy for once"

He drops down onto the bed and grabs his controller Breckin ss "I don’t really like your friend, but he does ot so mad at her and walked away, but the only way to make it up to her is to not stay away" He turns back toward the TV and I’ at both of them, completely speechless

They make it sound so simple Theyin the balance They don’t knohat the fuck they’re talking about

"Take me home," I say to Daniel I don’t want to be here anymore I walk out of Breckin’s bedroom and make my way back to Daniel’s car

Chapter Thirty-two

Les,

Everyone likes to have an opinion, don’t they? Daniel and Breckin have no clue what I’ve been through What either of us has been through

Fuck it I don’t even feel like telling you about it

I close the notebook and stare at it Why the hell do I even write in it? Why the hell do I bother when she’s fucking dead? I throw the notebook across the room and it hits the wall and falls to the floor I throw the pen at the notebook and then grab my pillow froroan, frustrated I’m pissed that Daniel thinks my life is so simple I’ize to her, like that wouldto Les even though she’s dead She can’t read it She’ll never read it I’h down on paper for no reason other than the fact that there isn’t a single goddaht now that I can talk to

I lie down, then get pissed again and punch my bed because my damn pillow is all the way across the roo it up I look down at the notebook beneath it, spread open on the floor

The pillow falls out of my hand

My knees fall to the floor

My hands clench the notebook that has flipped open to the very last page

I frantically flip through the pages covered in Les’s handwriting until I find where the words begin As soon as I see the first words written on top of the page,halt

Dear Holder,

If you’re reading this, I’m so, so sor

I slam the notebook shut and throw it across the roo suicide letter?

I can’t breathe Oh, God, I can’t breathe I pull myself up and jerk open my , then stick h air There isn’t enough air and I can’t breathe I shut theand run toit open and rush down the stairs, taking theroide, seeing ht! Where are--"

"Running!" I yell, then slam the front door behind ht to Sky’s house because she’s the only thing in the world that can help ain

Chapter Thirty-three