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I lean forward and kiss the top of her head, then walk into the kitchen "You want brownies or cookies?" I watch her fro at me, wide-eyed

I freaked her out

I just completely freaked her out

I walk back to where she’s seated and I kneel down in front of her "Hey I didn’ther face inyou out I’ed I’ from post-traumatic stress disorder I’m just a brother who loved his sister et a little intense when I think about her And if I cope better by telling h it wasn’t, then that’s all I’" I allow her time to letloved that girl, Sky I need to believe that what she did was the only answer she had left, because if I don’t, then I’ll never forgiveher find a different one" I pressher firmly in the eyes "Okay?"

I need her to understand that I’ht not kno to

She presses her lips together and nods, then pulls my hands away "I need to use the bathroo around me She rushes to the bathroom and shuts the door behind her

Jesus Christ, why did I even go there? I walk to the hallway, prepared to knock on the door and apologize, but decide to give her a few minutes first I know that was really heavy Maybe she just needs a minute

I wait across the hallway until the bathroo

"We good?" I ask her, taking a step closer to her

She smiles up at me and exhales a shaky breath "I told you I think you’re intense This just proves ain I love that about her

I smile and wrap my arms around her, then rest my chin on top of her head while we nant yet?"

She laughs "Nope Not this weekend Besides, you have to kiss a girl before you can knock her up"

"Did someone not have sex education when she was homeschooled? Because I could totally knock you up without ever kissing you Want me to show you?"

She falls onto the bed and picks up the book that she read to ht "I’ll take your word for it," she says "Besides, I’et a hefty dose of sex education before we e"

I lie down beside her and pull her toto ht fist and keep it atinso perfect before

She’s been reading for well over half an hour now and I haven’t heard a daht it was so much easier to pay attention to the actual story because I wasn’t looking directly at her Tonight it’s taking every ounce of willpower I have not to claiainstright now because every tie, I squeeze hter and try to keep my hands to myself but my resistance resonates in my pulse And it’s not that I don’t want to touch her I want to touch her and kiss her so bad it physically hurts

I just don’t want it to be insignificant to her When I touch herI want her to feel it I want every single thing I say to her and every single thing I do to her to have significance

Last night when she toldwhen she was kissed,where it felt bound, like it was being constricted, just like the lungs in ht have downplayed that to her With every single girl I’ve been with, my heart has never reacted like it reacts to her And I’s for her, because let’s be honest, I barely know her I’ to my heart’s literal, physical reaction to her Every tihsmy heart reacts like it’s been sucker-punched I hate it and like it and somehow have become addicted to it Every time she speaks, the sucker-punch inthere

A huge internal part of me was lost when I lost Hope, and I was convinced Les took the very last contents ofwith Sky these last two days, I’m not so sure about that, anymore I don’t think ht Whatever is left insideit up

With every word she speaks and every glance she sendshtmare I’ve been trapped in, and I want to continue to allow her to pull me

Fuck it