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They tried to not let the stress affect theirtooand selling the house, and that Mo us here to be closer to her fa taken, it was the worst day of my life

But it seemed like your best

You were so excited to ht to ask you while you were alive I want to knohat it was you hated about living there so o back to Austin I don’t want to have to leave Mom I don’t want to have to stay with Dad and pretend that I’o I don’t want to go back to a tohere every ti for Hope

I miss you so damn much, Les, but it’s different from the way I miss Hope With you, I know it’s not a possibility that I’ll ever see you again I know you’re gone and you’re not suffering anymore But I don’t have that sense of closure with Hope Because I don’t know that she’s not suffering anymore I don’t know if she’s dead or alive My ines the worst possible scenarios for her, and I hate it

What are the chances that the only two girls inle day I know I should probably find a way to try to get over itto let go of the blaet over it I don’t want to forget that my inability to protect either of you is why I’m the only one of us left I deserve to be reminded every second that I’m alive that I let both of you down, so that I can be conscious not to let ain to anyone else

Yeah, I definitely need a reet a tattoo

Chapter Five-and-a-half

Les,

What a year I alot about this notebook Must have left it behind inon uessing Mo in with Dad for the past year in the same way she reacted to your death, I’m sure she hasn’t set foot in my bedroom since the day I left It seems easier for her to just close the doors and not think about the stillness of the rooms behind them

I’raduated, but I thwarted that plan with hteen Dad couldn’t really hold hteenit eird not having to share a birthday with you But it was nice because Dad bought me a new car I’m pretty sure if you were alive he would have et to keep it all to myself And he didn’t o, so that’s a plus

I missed Mom, which is the primary reason I came back And as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve missed Daniel In fact, I’o catch up with the old crowd It’s Saturday night, so I’ive people so else to talk about

Daniel says there have been some pretty far-out rumors related to where I’ve been for the past year He said he didn’t waste ti any of them He’s the only one who knohere I really took off to, so I appreciate that he didn’t feel the need to set anyone straight I think he likes the fact that he’s the only one who knows the truth

Oneback My huge fight with Dad Remind uess you can’t remind et to tell Les about your fight with Dad

Chapter Six

I can’t believe he talkedmy first week back I swore I wouldn’t be around these people again, but it has been a whole year I’ve had a while to adjust, so maybe they have, too

I walk up to the unfamiliar house a few feet ahead of Daniel, but stop just short of passing through the front door Of all the people from school I haven’t seen for the past year, the last person I expect to run into is Grayson But of course the last thing I expect is always the first to happen