Page 81 (1/2)

She regarded hih he had only occasionally seen war She forced down her anger Hadn’t this all been about proving to hi away "This thing you have becoer It will destroy you"

"Yes," he said softly

She looked back at hi down at Min, "why you all assume that I am too dense to see what you find so obvious Yes, Nynaeve Yes, this hardness will destroy me I know"

"Then why?" she asked "Why won’t you let us help you?"

He looked up--not at her, but staring off at nothing A servant knocked quietly, wearing the white and forest green of Milisair’s house She entered and deposited the new pot of tea, picked up the old one, then withdrew

"When I was er," he said, voice soft, "Ta the world He spoke of Dragonmount I didn’t know at the time that he’d actually seen it, nor that he had found onmount, Tar Valon and Caemlyn were alh, a h it made even Twin-horn’s Peak back home seem a dwarf Tarn’s stories claionmount’s peak Not because it was i the top would take every last ounce of strength ait would be a struggle that drained a man completely"

He fell silent

"So?" Nynaeve finally asked

He looked at her "Don’t you see? The stories clai so, he would be without strength to return A mountaineer could best it, reach the top, see what no est and wisest explorers knew this So they never cli that trip for another day For they kneould be their last"

"But that’s just a story," Nynaeve said "A legend"

"That’s what I aend To be told to children years from now, spoken of in whispers" He shook his head "So on And sometimes, you know this clirown too hard, that I will inevitably shatter and break if I continue on But you assu left of me to continue on That I need to climb back down the mountain once I’ve reached the top

"That’s the key, Nynaeve I see it noill not live through this, and so I don’t need to worry about what ht happen to me after the Last Battle I don’t need to hold back, don’t need to salvage anything of this beaten up soul of mine I know that Ito bend, are those who cannot accept ill happen to ain Many tiarded her, but this time they were blank Set in that same, emotionless face

"We can find a way, Rand," Nynaeve said "Surely there is a way to win but also let you live"

"No," he growled softly "Do not teain It only leads to pain, Nynaeve II used to think about leaving so behind to help the world survive once I died, but that was a struggle to keep living I can’t indulge myself I’ll climb this bloody mountain and face the sun You all will deal hat comes next That is how it ave her a sharp glance "That is how it must be, Nynaeve"

She closed her ht," Rand said "You have saved us all a lot of trouble"

"I did it because I want you to trust me," Nynaeve said, then immediately cursed herself Why had she said that? Was she really so tired that she blabbed the first thing that came to her mind?

Rand just nodded "I do trust you, Nynaeve As much as I trust anyone; more than I trust ainstI can accept The difference between you and Cadsuane is that you actually care about me She only cares about my place in her plans She wants me to be part of the Last Battle You want me to live For that, you have s I no longer can"

He leaned down to pick up Min; heone ar with his hand as he lifted her up She stirred, then snuggled in close to hi a complaint that she could walk He didn’t put her down; perhaps because of the exhaustion in her voice Nynaeve knew she stayed up with her booksherself al Min, he walked toward the door "We will deal with the Seanchan first," he said "Be well prepared for thatI will take care of Graendal soon after"

He left her then The flickering la only the one on the table

Rand had surprised her again He was still a wool-headed fool, but he was a surprisingly self-aware one How could a norant?

And why couldn’t she coainst what he’d said? Why couldn’t she ? There was always hope By surrendering that --but risked losing all reason he ht have to care about the outcome of his battles

For sou one of Roidelle’s best maps on his table Taled their chairs around the table Beside the map of the area, Mat unrolled a sketch of the layout of ato find ato sketch them a map of Trustair, but after Hinderstap, Mat didn’t like to go into a toithout knohat they were up against

Mat’s pavilion was shaded by the pine forest outside, and the day was cool Occasionally, the ould blow, and a small sprinkle of dead pine needles would shake free fro the top of the tent as they fell Outside, soldiers called to one another and pots clanged as the midday meal was distributed

Mat studied the towna fool The whole world had decided to turn against him--even rural mountain toere death traps, these days Next he knew, the daisies on the sides of the road would be ganging up to try and eat hiave hi into the phantohostly place had vanished, it had left behind adaisies Burn ht