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The next day at school I felt this weirdhope and eternal despair My situation was depressing Nix was scary as all hell And he was back early from Greece My future looavethat was secret and razed overphysically out of place And then his powerful silver eyes met mine and held them, connected th to ain
And it was because Ryder knew my secret and decided I was still worth friendship
We hadn’t actually spoken to each other yet today, he ith Chase and Phoenix in front of the building and I wanted to avoid all things Chase for a while But just knowing Ryder supported h theeasier
Between fifth and sixth period I found myself alone in an upstairs bathroo around withloudly They were giggling about boys and parties over the weekend I recognized the around Sauys Maybe they still did, I avoided the entire basketball crowd like a death sentence
There laughter evaporated when they noticedlike soen fro it hard to breathe again The shortest girl, also the ring leader froer and circled it around slowly, pointing at ht her naht have been Cairl, as hter "Heard you were back, Ivy I also heard you wereyour rounds on the soccer team now Slut"
"Whore," Cammie quickly reinforced their nasty sentirief over Sairl asked with so ot ht Her naeous Perfectsilky black hair, the darkest, deepest black eyes She was prettier thanSam for two entire years before I showed up
Before he broke up with her for ed breath and willed myself to meet her eyes "I didn’t have a choice," I adth or poise
Cassandra bit out a bark of laughter "Well, isn’t that just nice for you"
Cammie took a step towards me She was tiny and petite but packed with h I wasn’t helpless if it caht back This was a punish to take it
"You shouldn’t have co voice "Nobody wants you here, nobody wants to watch you ruin someone else’s life You’re a cheap skank that destroys people Youin my chest so loud I was positive they could hear it, hearHot tears stabbed at my eyes and I shut theet for all their insults, or even their punching bag, but crying in front of them seemed too pathetic even for me
The bathroom door opened and surprise of all surprises Kenna Lee walked in She had her purse in her hand and seemed to be in a hurry, but when she stu back and forth betweenon, Ivy?" she asked in a hesitant tone
Damn it, why did this stuff always happen in the bathroo Kenna Lee?
"Nothing," I whispered, but even I heard how tragic I sounded
"Cassandra?" she questioned instead
"We’re just leaving," Cassandra said in a bored tone She lookedin all ofpainfully into my palms, my hair that seemed to be everywhere at the moment, my forehead that had started to sweat and uilt and shame for what had happened to Saly voice "I have never hated anyone like I hate you" She paused for severalto compose herself "But he still asks about you Not… he can’t… it’s in his eyes It’s hoatches the door The least you could do is pay hi some"
Her words floored me I felt like she just punched me in the heart The as knocked all the way out offroave me one more disdainful look and then they turned as one unit and left the bathroom
Kenna disappeared into a stall and all the while I stood there staring at the door, not able toher hands and then pulling some paper towels from the dispenser While she dried her hands she looked me over with the kind of pity that was reserved for abused circus aniust
"Ivy, this is the second ti somewhat exhausted "So you’ve oes on, it has to and you can’t stop it Learn to stand up for yourself for God’s sake"
I juo that I kne to stand up for myself I knew exactly what I was and even if I didn’t want to accept my future, I could at least accept ood, strong piece of me until I didn’t want to stand up for myself, until I wanted someone else to tell ht," I mumbled instead No need to belittle her efforts
"Listen, it’s not like… Ok, you and ht?" I nodded weakly, hating that her words were truth "But, I care about Ryder I s I just don’t want to see you hurt hientle with hiainst my chest and then dropped to ht Ryder would have told you I thought Ryder had a thing- I guess, never htful for aaway the idea
"Ryder broke up with you? And you thought it was because ofsuddenly very sick to my stomach The world kind of reeled around andThis was very bad news
"What?" Kenna asked abruptly "No, I broke up with Ryder I had a thing- Hayden and I have been talking for a while and I didn’t think it was fair to Ryder" She looked atyou that"
"Oh," I started, feeling couys were just friends But I don’t know, I kind of had a feeling it was htening "Guess, I rong"
"Uh, yeah, we’re just friends," I confir a little flattened Which uys broke up?"
She looked at ht I had a thing for Ryder Good grief
"It was the beginning of last week, like ether at lunch every day?" I de up inside me, I felt lied to Manipulated
"We’re still friends Ivy Not every break up ends badly," she patronized but then shot lance "At least for ht you guys, I don’t know, I thought you were really into him"
"I did too, but I think I wasthoughtfully "You knohat I "