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I took a stuttering breath and allowed one tear to slip froht eye The lonely dropto my t-shirt where it left a s in the long tiled bathroo water on my jeans and bare ar on my shirt where it was lost in the other water spots left froet ahold ofand inhaled deeply I counted to five and then I forced my eyes to the mirror

It was easy to avoid mirrors usually Most of the tiain I didn’t care what I looked like I didn’t want to care what I looked like And I really didn’t want to see the accusing, hate-filled eyes that I kneould be staring back at me

But I still h this with my mind intact My soul was shot to all hell, and my emotions were one tear-fest away from a doctor-recommended Xanax prescription But I had my mind My mind was my savior, my ticket out of here,my demons

At least soripped the sides of the sink basin I slid my eyes upwards and readied my nerves to face hter reddish gold highlights pulled up high on reen, emerald eyes Plump, perfectly bowed red lips Flawless skin And that se of uys didn’t forget and girls hated on principal I was a genetic mistake A freak of nature and fate and a curse

My face was a curse

I stared ive up now

Saet better one day Saet better one day And I will be better one day One day, I will leave this all behind

One day I will be free

It was a practiced mantra, one that I said constantly to htened ht Chapstick with me

I shook my hands of left over water and then reached for a paper towel This was ht of absolute reprieve from my life I could put up with Kenna and Ryder for a little while longer if it meant I didn’t have to be home alone, or worse with Nix and my mom

I turned for the door and decided that I was done ing and needed to get over myself when it was suddenly thrust open and Ryder ca inside My hand flew to my neck instinctively and I took a few beats to steady ers and I tightened ainst my throat Ryder and I assessed each other fro, htened

"You scared the hell out of ed at the corner of his lips, and his eyes softened into careful amusement "Sorry," he finally relented "Kenna orried about you She askedthe girls’ bathroo outside, but you were taking so long I started to wonder if Kenna had a right to be concerned," he explained His gray eyes were heated in the low lights of the bathrooe The ends of his hair were dahts and curled around his neck and over his ears, slick with sweat His shirt clung to his body, sticking to hiy; his presence was co the roo the air bounce off the walls in excited frenzy

He was overwhelet pulled in

"Kenna’s sweet, but as you can see, I’m fine," I broke the silence that had settled between us It was in no way coerous and explosive

"Yes, I can see that," Ryder nodded, pulling in his botto that I was fine I expected hi around me, which only made me want to explore this pheno in the doorway, he took up so much space But it wasn’t just physical, it was like his presence hovered in every eainstto break the silence, "You guys were…" I paused, not sure what to say Any coh, there wasn’t a word for how great he was But at the sa nice felt like a betrayal of everything that I was He didn’t even like ive hi into the bathrooles when they realized he was a boy and then glanced between us with knowing looks

"Sorry," one of the girls announced on a laugh She was petite and tiny, with a short blonde bob highlighted with pink and purple streaks "We didn’t mean to interrupt"

"It’s no problem," Ryder announced benevolently, but his eyes had yet to leaveso

I just didn’t knohat

"Oh irl announced She had red hair not at all like ly red and obviously froar Skulls!"

And then the three girls squealed in unison

"Oha step forward and laying a hand on his chest bravely I was annoyed with the girls, both for their intrusion and the way they were ready to drop their panties for him "I didn’t knoas you!" And I went to roupies, but left my hand on his chest His skin was hot andmy skin to his

He turned witha scene His hand wrapped around ainst my bare skin A lone butterfly flapped distantly in ht up my sternum into my heart What the hell?

"You know me," he stated siht hold on ht for sure he was going to re about you," I replied, just as simply, just as sincerely

The red head let out a burst of rude laughter breaking into the bubble of intimacy Ryder had created around us I snapped my head her direction, reminded that ere still in the bathroo by the cold look in his gun outside for us

"Fair enough," Ryder admitted and then released my hand My arm dropped to my side and I workedto find the strength that had been there a o But my hand was useless, completely zapped of motor function and usability thanks to the weird spell Ryder put on me

I was never affected by men Never That was the key to