Page 4 (1/2)

Guy next to me felt like this was a perfect opportunity to jump back into our earlier conversation "So as the stint in rehab for anyway?"

Classy

All conversation stopped at our table and every eye slid cautiously to me This was a lie This was a lie I wasn’t an addict, except to maybe hope Yes, I was only addicted to hope for life after ," Iout one of the o to rehab I had lots of vices; I didn’t want to give any one of them up just to prove a fake addiction "Seriously, you name it"

The table was quiet for six entire seconds as the heavy information sank into all those around me

"Sex," Ryder said clearly in the wake of the aard silence

"What?" I sputtered

"Sex, were you addicted to sex?" he clarified He settled his gray eyes onpools of liquid silver But still, he wasin the air between us and I couldn’t help but be intrigued What was different about him? Why wasn’t he pulled into the same bullshit every other man on the planet had to suffer frohter, aze "But I refused treathed

"You’re basically like the feer Woods," Ryder stated but his eyes danced with a him an amused smile that lacked any of its usual flirtatious traps "But it’s runted in coed daddy issues He scooted closer toto Chase I was destined to this sort of depraved, user lifestyle, but nothing could ive myself over to creepers I had standards

Not very many standards…

But there were some levels of crazy I just couldn’t mess with

"Back off, Hayden, she’s not serious," Chase barked at hi to like Chase He tossed his floppy hair out of his eyes in disgust and then turned his deep blue eyes on his friend "And it’s disgusting that you would be attracted to so around, hed "I wasn’t serious either"

"Right," Chase rolled his eyes and his hand went from my lower back to all the way around , and protective and I melted into hi more This would fade…

And I would be left with an attacho with y Lab? I have to drop off some extra credit," Chase leaned in so he could askblue eyes, looking for so sure I was Ok

"Yes please," I whispered, trying to show hi fine, but it didn’t really have anything to do with sleazy Hayden or even the fact that I had been sent away for treatment, just not of the addictive-behavioral type

It did have a lot to do with the behind the scenes of my life, the ones that nobody could see, the ones that hurt and cut the deepest and screweddisaster of bipolar emotions and fe to do with the gray eyes staring at h all of the pretty façade of my life and cut to the empty, lost part of me But most of all it had to do with the fact that he saw me; Ryder saw me and didn’t care

What the hell was I supposed to do with that?

I followed Chase fro him lead me by the hand and I decided that I had to find out Even if it lamour and he would be sucked in just like everybody else and all of his appeal would crumble around him… still, I had to know

Chapter Four

"Ivy, is that you?" My mother called fro if she was expecting someone else I walked over to the s that looked out at the busy don street and watched Chase pull back into traffic I half wondered what had taken hi to leave I lived with my mom in a trendy midtown loft and because of the busy one way streets, Chase couldn’t park and walk inally planned

That was fine withh I wondered if o The stress of that thought had ht piano that sat three feet towith y on the ivory keys and unforgiving demands of Tchaikovsky

"Hoas your first day back?" My mother asked as she walked out of her bedroo in a short black cocktail dress and six inch stilettos She was fastening a dia with tell-ance

"It sucked," I sighed and then turned my back on her

I walked over to our irabbed a bottle of water out of the stainless steel fridge I noticed a note on the counter frorip the counter to keep fro about this apartment, about our clothes, about our possessions… about our lifestyle

It was honestly disgusting

"Ivy, ladies don’t say ‘sucked,’" ize," I mumbled I forced e effort on reen eyes without cowering I was her spitting ienes that kind of took over anyof DNA and hter ofI would never, ever, ever have children That was so not in my life plan

"So, tell me about your first day back," my mother asked ay too much enthusiasm

"Why are you so dressed up?" I deflected We were supposed to have dinner together tonight I wouldn’t be all that upset about the loss oftime but I was terrified for whatever

And possibly through thedown at her ensemble as if she just realized how dressed up she was Her eyes darted around the roo my face "Uh, Nix is in town He has so to dinner first"

My fingers found the edge of the granite counter again and I instinctively dug in, gripping it tightly until the pads of le with nued breaths and forcing myself to remain caluise of cool indifference I couldn’t let her see my fear, orlike a self-destructive tornado insidehere?" I ground out, barely keeping the bite of anger out ofhere,"for ain

But I would never fall apart again

I learned my lesson the first ti beyond the plastic casing I wrappedimmediately

And I would have to pay