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She shouldn’t worry, but she did

Aside froer, Ben was Tess’s closest friend Her only friends, in fact Without theh she had to adn She wasn’t like other people, not really, and that awareness had always kept her separate It kept her alone

Tess looked down at her hands, idly tracing the little birther Her hands were her trade, her source of creative outlet as well When she was younger, back home in Illinois, she used to sculpt when sleep eluded her She loved the feel of cool clay warertips, the s beauty that could be coaxed out of a shapeless ht out some of her old supplies from the closet in the hallway; the box of tools and half-rendered pieces sat in a cardboard file box on the floor beside her How often had she retreated into her sculpting to distance herself from her own life? How many times had the clay and knives and awls been her confidante, her best friend, always there for her when she could count on nothing else?

Tess’s hands had given her purpose in life, but they were also her curse and the reason she couldn’t trust anyone to truly know her

No one could knohat she’d done

Mery shouts, the tears, the stench of liquor and heated, panting breath blasting across her face The frantic purasping hands The weight that crushed down upon her in those last few ret

Tess shoved all of that out of herfor the past nine years since she’d left her hoain To try to be nor who she really was

Is he breathing? Oh,blue! What have you done to him, you little bitch?

The words ca now as they had been then This tiht the memories back Toht--marked the anniversary of when it all went to hell back home Tess didn’t like to remember it, but it was hard not to mark the day, since it was also her birthday Twenty-six years old, but she still felt like that terrified girl of seventeen

You’re a killer, Teresa Dawn!

Getting up from the sofa, she padded over to thein her pajaht air rush over her Traffic hum inter in the distance The chill Nove the sheers and drapes

Look what you’ve done! You fix this right now, goddamn you!

Tess threw the ider and stared out into the darkness, letting the night noises cocoon her as they hosts of her past

Chapter Thirteen

"Jonas Red"

At the sound of Elise’s voice, Chase turned off his co her see his movements, he slid the utility knife he’d recovered several hours ago while on patrol with Dante into one of his desk drawers

"He went out last night with a couple of friends, but he didn’t return with them"

Elise stood in the open doorway of his study, a vision of beauty, even in the shapeless whiteclothes that had been a constant about her for the past five years The bell-sleeved tunic and long skirt fluttered around her petite figure, the only color being the red silk ’s sash that was tied loosely at her hips

Never assuidly proper, she wouldn’t enter Chase’s domain until he invited her in He rose from his desk chair and held his hand out to her in welcome "Please," he said, unable to take his eyes off her as she glided over the threshold and stood against the far wall

"They say he took sohtclub, and he became crazed," she said softly "He tried to attack sohtened and ran off They lost him in the panic, and they don’t knohat happened to him The whole day has passed without any word from him at all"

Chase didn’t reply Elise wouldn’t want to know the truth of it, and he would be the last person to subject her to the ugly details of his own firsthand knowledge of the young va final moments of life

"Jonas is one of Camden’s best friends, you know"

"Yes," Chase said quietly "I know"

Elise’s s with her wedding band "Do you think it’s possible that they ht have found each other out there? Maybe Caether so to find shelter froain soon, just a few ood news"

Chase didn’t realize he wasuntil he saw that he was on the other side of his desk, only a few paces away from the spot where Elise stood "I will find Camden I promised you I would You have my vow, Elise: I won’t rest until he is safe at hoain"

Her head bobbed weakly "I know you’re doing all that you can But you are sacrificing so much to search for Caency Now you’re getting involved with those dangerous thugs of the Order "

"You don’t worry about any of that," he told her gently "My decisions are --and why"

When she looked up at hireedily and held close " Sterling, I understand that you and my husband had your differences Quentin could be inflexible at tiency But he respected you more than he did anyone else He always said you were the best, the one with the reat He cared for you, even if he often had trouble expressing that to you" She drew in a breath, then exhaled it on a rushing sigh "He would be so grateful for what you are doing for us, Sterling As I a into her war Elise’s son home like a prize he’ d won just for her pleasure There would be joyful tears and emotional embraces He could almost feel her arms thrown around hi him as her personal champion Her savior

He lived for that chance now

He craved it with a ferocity that startled hi to ined an alternate reality, where Elise belonged to hi with her , honorable mate she had loved so deeply and lost In Chase’s private drearown full and ripe with his child He would give her a son to love and hold close He would give her the world

"You deserve to be happy, Elise"

She h he had embarrassed her "It’s very sweet of you to care I don’t knohat I would do without you, especially now"