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Four ti the day, she wandered up the stairs to check on hi at hi for answers that weren’t detectable on his handsoal and Phineasbreakfast Toni was having a quick sandwich before leaving to ulp froot a hot date"

"So like that" She set her empty plate in the sink "Why doesn’t Ian coe up there with a supply of blood," Dougal said "Still, I wish he would come down"

"Yeah The interview couldn’t have been that bad" Phineas drank ori told me it was verra bad"

Toni’s heart stilled "Why? What happened?"

Dougal shrugged "Gregori wouldna give details But they’re showing the interview tonight on the telly"

She would have to see it Hopefully, it would air before it was ti in his roo has snowballed completely out of control The woo There are about twenty of them camped out on the front sidewalk"

"Twenty babes? Are they hot?" Phineas rushed fro off the alarh already Whenever I look out the , they start screa"

"Cool" Phineas yanked open the door and was instantly rewarded with squeals "Ladies" He held up his hands "Let , the love doctor"

"We want Ian!" They pressed forward, knocking over empty beer bottles

"Careful," Toni warned Phineas

"Ladies, you have coht place I’m a personal friend of Ian’s--"

"Ask hi squeal while she lifted her T- shirt to flash her boobs like a girl gone wild

"That’s a good start," Phineas said "Anyone else?"

"Stop it" Toni slalared at Phineas "You should be ashaal’sWe need to go to Ro in fiveroouys want to see it?"

"I do" Toni settled on theto work" Dougal gave Phineas a warning look "I’ll expect ye there in fifteen reed i to be watching it at Roal smiled "Perhaps" He vanished

Phineas sprawled on the couch next to Toni and turned on the TV "See that dude? He’s Stone Cauffyn Does the Nightly News"

Toni listened to the Va voice Suddenly her cell phone went off

"Love is a battlefield?" Phineas snorted "Man, that’s wack Love is a , especially when you’re with Dr Phang"

"I’ll keep that in mind" Toni rushed into the foyer to answer the phone "Carlos?" She glanced at the surveillance cao to Shady Oaks Get your pretty ass holanced at the television in the next room "I need to stay here about fifteen more minutes"

"Why? Aren’t you off duty when the sun sets?"

"Yes, but" She groaned inwardly It was happening again She was getting pulled in two different directions

"Okay, I’ll pick you up on the way And before you object, I know exactly where you are, ht and found his profile and address I’ll be there in twenty ," Phineas yelled

She rushed back to the couch The TV screen was filled with large words in a flowing script-- Live with the Undead, starring Corky Courrant

"Good evening, friends!" A close-up revealed a face with heavily lined eyes and collagen- enhanced lips "This is Corky Courrant, reporting frohtclub in New York City"

The cahtclub she’d seen the night before Corky was sitting at a table next to a so Ian

"Shit, look at the tits on her," Phineasto Ian MacPhie, who has recently posted a very popular profile on the online dating service Single in the City" Corky inclined her head toward Ian "We’re delighted to have you on the show, Ian"

"My pleasure," Ian said

"This ain’t so bad," Phineas observed

"Looks fine to eous with his blue eyes and wavy black hair His green sweater clung to broad shoulders and a firht" Corky’s smile faded, and she affected a dreamy look "Every now and then, in the annals of va all others He is the legendary hero who inspires great music and poetry, that perfect man who inhabits the secret fantasies of all va

"He is the lanced at Ian "And this is not his story"

Toni gasped Ian’s face paled

Corky’s eyes gleaht we have the pathetic story of a lonely, desperate man, so desperate he tries to sell himself online No, wait, he’s so pathetic he has a friend sell hi?" Vanda marched into view

"Ah, here is the friend--Vanda Barkowski Tell me, is it true Ian’s too illiterate to write his own profile?"

"He’s not--" Vanda began

"Did you write it or not?" Corky snarled

"I helped," Vanda admitted, "but he’s not illit--"

"I had to wonder ould drive a man to such desperate measures," Corky continued with a smile "So, before this show, I intervieomen who are very well acquainted with Ian MacPhie Here they are"

The screen changed to the blonde bartender

"You are Cora Lee Prianesti’s harem?" Corky asked

"Yes" Cora Lee suards He was always such a sweet boy"

"Boy?" Corky asked "He looks thirty in his photo"

"That’s because he ate sorow older," Cora Lee explained "For centuries, he looked like a fifteen-year-old boy"

"That’s a What else can you tell us about Ian?"