Page 37 (2/2)
"I can’t really feel uess I’ out of here before you after all"
"Please don’t say that" I push the hair from her forehead
"I had a dream that I was in the van with my sisters," she says "But then someone opened the door, and I looked at them and saw you and Cecily in their places Rhine, I think I’ve begun to forget what they looked like Sounded like"
"I forget my brother’s voice" I only realize it once I’ve said the words
"But you don’t forget his face Because you’re twins"
"You figured that out, huh?"
"Your twin stories were too vivid to be fiction," she says
"But we aren’t identical twins," I say "Boys and girls can’t be identical twins, you know And I do forget what he looks like a little bit"
"You’ll see hi sure about it "You never told me if you made it into the baseuise it as a cough "We’ve figured out a plan We’re leaving next er"
"I did not light those curtains on fire for nothing
You’re getting out of here, and it’s going to be a"
"Come with us," I say
"Rhine"
"You hate it here Do you really want to spend what’s left of your life in this bed?" I don’t knohat I think freedoet to see the ocean
That we’ll watch the sunrise as free beings That we’ll bury her at sea
"Rhine, I’ll be gone before you leave"
"Don’t say that!"
I rest ers throughbehind my eyes, but I force the to stay strong for her sake, but she picks up easily on my distress "It’s okay," she says "It’s fine"
"You’re crazy to say that"
"No," she says, drawing back so that I raise my head and look at her "Think about how close you are to finally having what you want"
"What about you?" I say, louder than I rip at the blanket
She smiles It is an easy, beautiful smile "I’ll have what I want too," she says
In the days that follow, Linden starts spending time with Jenna But it’s not like the time he spent with me after my escape attempt, or Cecily while she was in labor Jenna has never established herself as his wife in any emotional capacity He sits on a chair or on the divan, never on the bed with her He doesn’t touch her
I don’t knohat they talk about, this estranged husband and ere never even acquainted to begin with, but I can’t help but think their conversations are the obligatory terminal discussions you’d expect to find in a hospital Like he’s granting her last wishes Like he’s trying to get sooes
"Did you know Jenna had sisters?" he asksdinner It’s just the two of us Cecily is catching what little precious sleep she can, and Vaughn is supposed to be in the base on his miracle antidote
"Yes," I say
"She tells h Some kind of accident," he says
I try to eat, but chewing feels arduous The food falls down my throat and into an empty pit I never taste it I wonder ith all her resentment, Jenna hasn’t told Linden the truth about her sisters Maybe it isn’t worth the energy Maybe keeping it from him is her ultimate form of spite She will die, and he will never have known her at all
"I’ve never really understood that one," Linden says, dabbing his mouth with a napkin "But I kno fond you were of her"
"‘Were?’ I still am," I say "She’s still here"
"Of course I’m sorry"
We don’t talk for the rest of thethe plate is gnawing at hn will tell hiive him some fake ashes to scatter And he’ll be left alone with Cecily, anted this life from the start, ill probably have half a dozen more babies to fill the empty spaces in both of their lives And then they’ll both die, and Vaughn will replace theeneration, and who kno long he’ll live Our bedrooone
Linden and Cecily They’ve both been so isolated that they don’t even knohat they’re ood-bye to Jenna and to me, bury us in some dark place in their hearts, and carry on for the rerams and illusions