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"I never believed otherwise," he says "But I saw see hiot to h a little, and he follows e ofwith Cecily?"

He shakes his head "I don’t know Househn is in there with a few of the house doctors" He watches ht If it was very serious, they would have moved her to a hospital in the city"

I look at et you anything?" Gabriel says "What about tea? Or some strawberries You hardly ate at dinner"

I don’t want tea or strawberries I don’t want Gabriel to be ht noant him to sit here with me and be my friend I want to knoon’t be punished for it later I want us both to be free

Maybe if I ever work out a plan to escape, I can bring him with me I think he would like the harbor

But I don’t kno to say all of this in a way that won’t make me seem weak, so all that comes out is, "Tell me about yourself"

"Myself?" He looks confused

"Yes," I say, patting the mattress

"You know all there is to know," he says, sitting beside me

"Not true," I say "Where were you born? What’s your favorite season? Anything"

"Here Florida," he says "I remember a woman in a red dress with curly brown hair Maybe she was my mother, I’m not sure And summer What about you?" The last part is said with a smile He smiles so infrequently that I consider each one a sort of trophy

"Fall is my favorite," I say He already knows about Manhattan, and thatup another round of questions when there’s a knock at the door Gabriel stands and srab the ehtstand in case I need to pretend I was asking him for a refill "Come in," I say

It’s Elle, Cecily’s domestic Her eyes are ith excitement "Guess what I’ve couess Cecily is going to have a baby!"

In the weeks that follow, Linden devotes so ain I know this lack of attention is bad fora little less burdened without his constant presence, at least for now Once again Gabriel and I are free to talk, when he brings breakfast toain, while h Cecily’s sleep pattern has becoresses

Spending tiatory time spent with my husband I can be honest with Gabriel I can tell him that I est place in the world, but now feels as distant as a star

"There used to bethe city--Brooklyn, I think, and Queens, and a few others But they called it all Manhattan after they added the lighthouses and new harbors, and they labeled the boroughs by their purpose Mine is factories and shipping To the west is fishing, and to the east isinto a piece of toast fro on the otto of blue around his pupils

"Don’t know" I roll onto ot too confusing trying to keep all those boroughs straight; they’re all mostly industrialized, aside from the residences Maybe the president couldn’t bother to learn the difference"

"Sounds stifling," he says

"A little," I ads are hundreds of years old, sointo the past I used to pretend" My voice trails off I tracethe sea toward me

"I’ve never said it out loud before," I say, just now realizing it "But I used to pretend I was going out into the twenty-first century, and I’d see people ere all different ages, and I’d get to grow up and be just like the silence, and I keep my eyes on the seam because suddenly it’s difficult to look at Gabriel

But I can feel hie of ht

"Forget it," I say, trying to h "It’s dumb"

"No," he says "It’s not"

His finger trails after ht line up and down, our hands not quite touching A flood of war a smile I can’t avoid There will be no adulthood fortime since I’ve even pretended I could never share this fantasy with my parents; it would have saddened them Or with my brother; he would have called it pointless And so I kept it toGabriel’s hand ame with a set rhythm and method, I let the fantasy return One day I’ll step outside of thisworld, with a beautiful path to the rest oflife

"You should see it," I say "The city, I mean"

His voice is soft "I’d like that"

There’s a knock at my closed door, and Cecily’s voice asks, "Is Linden in there with you? He was supposed to bring me some hot chocolate"

"No," I say